No, Black Women

Cowork­er: One of my high school teach­ers was fired for hav­ing in­ap­pro­pri­ate re­la­tion­ships with stu­dents… Ap­par­ent­ly he had a thing for sis­ters.
New girl: Like nuns?

32 Av­enue of the Amer­i­c­as
New York, New York

Over­heard by: Kate Eliz­a­beth Quer­am

Like Moth­balls, with a Hint of Vicks

Guy: I can’t stand Red Bull. It tastes like old peo­ple.
Girl drink­ing Red Bull: You know what that tastes like?

Lu­cent Boule­vard
Den­ver, Col­orado

Over­heard by: Red Bull Ben

Geez, I’m Get­ting All Stressed Here

Over-zeal­ous pro­fes­sor talk­ing about trib­al gen­i­tal mu­ti­la­tion: … So the view­ers ex­pe­ri­enced more stress when they watched the peo­ple get­ting their gen­i­tals whacked off! They got whacked off!

Uni­ver­si­ty of Ari­zona
Tuc­son, Ari­zona

Al­so Thinks Every­one from ‘Ida­ho’ Is a Slut

Cowork­er #1: I don’t know, he was weird. And plus, I’ve nev­er dat­ed a guy from In­di­ana…
Cowork­er #2: Wait… He was In­di­an?

Birm­ing­ham, Al­aba­ma

Over­heard by: Cu­bi­ca

Hers and Her Hus­band’s

Wait­ress #1: My sis­ter is in the hos­pi­tal be­cause she just had her sec­ond liv­er trans­plant.
Wait­ress #2: Oh my god! Both of them?!
Wait­ress #1: Both of whats?
Wait­ress #2: Both of her liv­ers?!
Wait­ress #1, turn­ing to man­ag­er guy: Do you want to tell her, or should I?

McHen­ry, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: Thank God I’m Me

And What about the La­dy Who Told Me It Would Be 2,880 Min­utes?

CSR: Yes, if you do your pay­ment on­line it can take two busi­ness days to post.
Cus­tomer: The oth­er per­son told me 48 hours! Which one is it? I’m al­ways giv­en dif­fer­ent in­for­ma­tion!

411 Smith­field Street
Pitts­burgh, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: mr­swack­a­do

Would You Like Some Can­dy?

IT guy: Pret­ty much every­one who works here is ei­ther a com­put­er geek or a pe­dophile.
HR la­dy walk­ing by: Hey, I’m not a com­put­er geek.

Rich­mond Hill
On­tario
Cana­dia

Tis­sues Would’ve Been the Log­i­cal Com­mod­i­ty

Cus­tomer ser­vice man­ag­er on per­son­al call: You went to some­body’s fu­ner­al and sold purs­es?!

Cham­blee, Geor­gia

Over­heard by: achooAl­i­son

Tint­ed Chro­mo­somes

Cowork­er #1: You’ve got re­al­ly pret­ty eyes.
Cowork­er #2: Thanks.
Cowork­er #1: It’s like you’ve got, um… What is it…?
Cowork­er #3: Downs Syn­drome?
Cowork­er #1: Con­tact lens­es.

Kmart
Ade­laide
South Aus­tralia

But It Feels So Right

Girl record­ing of­fice voice­mail: If you know the per­son you are wish­ing to en­ter… Shit, that’s not right.

Ju­bilee Road
Muncy, Penn­syl­va­nia