No, Black Women

Coworker: One of my high school teachers was fired for having inappropriate relationships with students… Apparently he had a thing for sisters.
New girl: Like nuns?

32 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York

Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Queram

Like Mothballs, with a Hint of Vicks

Guy: I can’t stand Red Bull. It tastes like old people.
Girl drinking Red Bull: You know what that tastes like?

Lucent Boulevard
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Red Bull Ben

Geez, I’m Getting All Stressed Here

Over-zealous professor talking about tribal genital mutilation: … So the viewers experienced more stress when they watched the people getting their genitals whacked off! They got whacked off!

University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona

Also Thinks Everyone from ‘Idaho’ Is a Slut

Coworker #1: I don’t know, he was weird. And plus, I’ve never dated a guy from Indiana…
Coworker #2: Wait… He was Indian?

Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Cubica

Hers and Her Husband’s

Waitress #1: My sister is in the hospital because she just had her second liver transplant.
Waitress #2: Oh my god! Both of them?!
Waitress #1: Both of whats?
Waitress #2: Both of her livers?!
Waitress #1, turning to manager guy: Do you want to tell her, or should I?

McHenry, Illinois

Overheard by: Thank God I’m Me

And What about the Lady Who Told Me It Would Be 2,880 Minutes?

CSR: Yes, if you do your payment online it can take two business days to post.
Customer: The other person told me 48 hours! Which one is it? I’m always given different information!

411 Smithfield Street
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: mrswackado

Would You Like Some Candy?

IT guy: Pretty much everyone who works here is either a computer geek or a pedophile.
HR lady walking by: Hey, I’m not a computer geek.

Richmond Hill
Ontario
Canadia

Tissues Would’ve Been the Logical Commodity

Customer service manager on personal call: You went to somebody’s funeral and sold purses?!

Chamblee, Georgia

Overheard by: achooAlison

But It Feels So Right

Girl recording office voicemail: If you know the person you are wishing to enter… Shit, that’s not right.

Jubilee Road
Muncy, Pennsylvania

What about That Joe Pesci Movie?

Pledge drive volunteer: Would you like to pledge to fight hunger and homelessness?
College guy: No thanks, man.
Pledge drive volunteer: How about pledging to make higher education more affordable?
College guy: Dude, homeless people don’t even go to college…

470 West 7th Street
Bloomington, Indiana

Overheard by: pledging