Archive for January, 2007

Maybe I Shouldn’t Have Let Him Borrow All That Poe

Librarian: Have you met the new assistant director? He reminds me a lot of Randy — you know — Ralphie’s little brother from A Christmas Story. Nobody wants to hang out with him. The other day I asked him how he was, and he actually held up a piece of rope and said, ‘Oh, I’m hanging in there!’ and gave me a creepy smile.

60 7th Street
Garden City, New York

Overheard by: Grace

… They Ooze

Chick #1: Did anybody ever tell you that you look like a penis when you wear that hood?
Chick #2: I do not!
Chick #3: You should see her when she runs in that hood. Then she really looks like a penis…
Chick #2: Penises don’t run!

Saint Francis University
Loretto, Pennsylvania

Lousy Human Condition

Middle-aged secretary #1: Stuart* just farted in my ear. He was standing next to me when I was sitting at my desk, and he fucking farted in my ear!
Middle-aged secretary #2: Ew. I’ve been known to let one slip myself. And the pussy farts are the worst, because you can’t control them.
Middle-aged secretary #1: I see we’re keeping it real.

Law firm
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: ginny