Archive for 2007

As Long As It Does­n’t Cut in­to Our Coke-Snort­ing Time

Suit #1: So, where are we go­ing?
Suit #2: Does it mat­ter? We’re go­ing there.
Suit #1: I don’t care about the food, I just want to know I can get a drink.
Suit #2: It’s a lunch place, but yeah, it has a bar.
Suit #1: Good.
Suit #2: Is that all you’re go­ing to do for the next two weeks? Drink dur­ing lunch?
Suit #1: Mmm-hm­mm.
Suit #2: Oh… I guess that’s okay.

485 Lex­ing­ton Av­enue
New York, New York

I Had a Very Pro­gres­sive High School Bi­ol­o­gy Teacher

Cube mon­key #1: It’s not like there are a lot of straight peo­ple at this of­fice to sleep with.
Cube mon­key #2: You could sleep with the IT guy — Harold*.
Cube mon­key #1: Ew, he’s a whore. I don’t want to get crotch rot.
Cube mon­key #2: What on earth is crotch rot? I’ve nev­er heard of that.
Cube mon­key #3: Not on­ly have I heard of it, I have smelled it!

731 Pi­lot Road
Las Ve­gas, Neva­da

Over­heard by: An­na