Archive for 2006

Now Make him De­fine Irony!

Broth­er: Is he dead?
Broth­er’s friend’s broth­er: I think he’s asleep.
Broth­er: Hey, you awake?
Broth­er’s friend’s broth­er: Hey! Say some­thing.
Broth­er’s friend: Make me.

Mishawa­ka, In­di­ana

Over­heard by:

Some­times He’d Eu­phor­i­cal­ly Do Body-Shots Off of me and Ned From Ac­count­ing

Fe­male cowork­er: I’m so tired of be­ing alone but it’s im­pos­si­ble to meet any avail­able men here. I should have tak­en John* up on his of­fer.

Male cowork­er: Who?

Fe­male cowork­er: You know, John Smith*. The guy who was here about eight years ago and got boot­ed, then came back a few years lat­er, then got boot­ed again a cou­ple of years ago.

Male cowork­er: Oh he’s been boot­ed more times than that! What are you talk­ing about?

Fe­male cowork­er: Did­n’t I tell you? He came back last fall try­ing to get re­in­stat­ed and stopped by to see me. He said he’d been think­ing about me. He want­ed to know if I was in­ter­est­ed in get­ting to­geth­er but I did­n’t want to get in­to that so I lied and said I was see­ing some­one. Now I won­der why I did that.

Male cowork­er: Maybe be­cause he’s a bipo­lar bi­sex­u­al al­co­holic?

Fe­male cowork­er: There is that…But I bet he would­n’t have bored me.

Small town, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: i’m lone­ly too — but not that lone­ly