Archive for 2006

The Hu­man-Pow­ered Wa­ter­craft Speed Record Is a Se­duc­tive Mis­tress

Girl #1: It’s like that kid that was kid­napped for all those years, and then they found him and he was back with his fam­i­ly… but then he died a few years lat­er in a boa­tor­cy­cle ac­ci­dent.
Girl #2: A boa­tor­cy­cle ac­ci­dent?
Girl #1: I meant mo­tor­cy­cle.
Girl #2: Yeah, I was gonna say… if he was boa­tor­cy­cling it would have been his own fault. I mean, he should­n’t have been boa­tor­cy­cling.
Girl #1: I know!

4310 Sher­wood­towne Boule­vard
Mis­sis­sauga, On­tario, Cana­da

I Dare You to Ask If He Has a Navel

Suit: Jim’s* door is locked. Is he not here?
Woman #1: No, his moth­er’s in the hos­pi­tal.
Suit: Damn!
Woman #1: Not very syn­thet­ic, is he.

1500 John F. Kennedy Boule­vard
Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: Not syn­thet­ic, very re­al

He’ll Mar­ry the First Girl Who Says ‘Yes’

Sales chick, hold­ing sales or­der: How big is this part? Can it go UPS or does it need a skid?
Ware­house guy: Oh, no, that one is re­al small. It could fit up my nose.
Sales chick: Um… OK, mov­ing on… They asked for this part a week ago, so I’m go­ing to have it ship to­day in­stead of with their large or­der. Thanks!
Ware­house guy, stick­ing fin­ger up his nose: Are you sure you don’t want to see how big it is?

8220 Eng­land Street
Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na