Archive for 2006

Sarah To­bias: ‘Too Late.’

Fe­male em­ploy­ee: Man, I’m soo busy to­day. Why is every­one tak­ing ad­van­tage of me?
Male em­ploy­ee: I dun­no.
Fe­male em­ploy­ee: Oh well, maybe I just let peo­ple take ad­van­tage of me. It’s just eas­i­er that way.
Male em­ploy­ee: Some ad­vice: don’t ever say that in a bar.

Mo­toro­la, 1301 East Al­go­nquin Road
Chica­go, Illi­nois

What Hap­pens When a Tourist Is Deaf to All Parts of Speech Ex­cept Nouns

Tourist: What is this spe­cial wine deal you have tonight?
Wait­ress: Well, it’s 5‑dollar Ital­ian wine night, so any wine that is made in Italy is 5 dol­lars. But we are out of Sauvi­gnon Blanc and Pinot Gri­gio.
Tourist: Well, I guess I’ll have a glass of Sauvi­gnon Blanc.
Wait­ress: We’re out of that. Any­thing else.
Tourist: Then I’ll have a glass of Pinot Gri­gio.

17th and P Street
Wash­ing­ton, DC

Over­heard by: guy at an­oth­er ta­ble

I Think the Moth­er­board Is Preg­nant

Suit: Help desk? My com­put­er went down on me.
Tech sup­port: Please hold on. [Places suit on speak­er phone] Can you re­peat that?
Suit: My com­put­er went down on me!
Tech sup­port, with en­tire sup­port team laugh­ing in the back­ground: So, what’s the prob­lem?

3 2nd Street
Jer­sey City, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Hobo Whis­per­er

Yes, Matt Lauer Says the Same Thing

Male cus­tomer: Well, we’re def­i­nite­ly in­ter­est­ed. We’ll be back this week to make the pur­chase.
Sales chick: It was a plea­sure to meet you. My name is Katie.
Fe­male cus­tomer: Oh, Katie. We’ll re­mem­ber that name!
Sales chick: Oh?
Fe­male cus­tomer, whis­per­ing: Katie is the name of my “oth­er” per­son­al­i­ty.
Sales chick: Oh?
Fe­male cus­tomer, turn­ing to male cus­tomer: Katie is not very nice, is she, dar­ling?
Male cus­tomer: No, dear, she’s not.

North­ridge, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: char­lotte