Archive for 2006

Michael Milken’s Up to His Old Tricks

Exec steals Nutri-Grain Bar from CEO.

CEO: Give that back!
Exec: No.
CEO, cornering exec and pushing him against the wall: Give that to me; that’s my Nutri-Grain!
Exec: You aren’t getting it back.
CEO: That’s stealing, man!
Exec: Buy some more! You’ve got the money!
CEO, releasing exec: You’re a real class act, man.

Exec unwraps and eats Nutri-Grain Bar.

5200 Dixie Road
Toronto, Ontario

It’s Right Next to That Note That Says You Should Give Me All Your Money

Co-Worker #1: Hey, what budget number should we use for this? The old one or the new one?
Co-Worker #2: What does that email you printed out and pinned to your wall say?
Co-Worker #1: It says I should use the new one.
Co-Worker #2: Then I think you should use the new one.
Co-Worker #1: Cool, thanks!
Co-Worker #2: No problem.

5201 Paint Branch Parkway
College Park, Maryland

Overheard by: i’m glad i don’t work there anymore

This Conversation Has Gone Balls-Up

British employee: Well, this was supposed to be completed by now. It looks like it’s gone all cock-up.
American #1: What?
British employee: I’m sorry, do you not have that phrase here?
American #2: In America, you can’t say cock like that. I shouldn’t hear you say cock.
American #1: We say fuck. Fucked up.
British employee: Ok, how’s this: Fuck off.

1 Corporate Drive
Orangeburg, New York