Archive for 2006

As­ton­ished at His Suc­cess, the Cus­tomer Went on to Bro­ker Peace Be­tween the Is­raelis and the Pales­tini­ans

Counter per­son: Hi, can I help you?
Cus­tomer: Yes, I’d like a din­ner for twelve, please.
Counter per­son: Oh, I’m sor­ry. For or­ders that large you have to call cater­ing at least twen­ty-four hours in ad­vance.
Cus­tomer: Er, then how about two din­ners for six?
Counter per­son: Oh, sure, we can do that.

Boston Mar­ket, High­way 60 and Limona Road
Bran­don, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Ste­fanie

The Ends Jus­ti­fy the Means

Builder #1: Do we have a hole punch­er?
Builder #2: Yeah, it’s over there near Di­ane’s* fat ar­se.
Builder #1: You can’t say that! That’s sex­u­al har­rass­ment! Di­ane, don’t wor­ry, love. You’ve got a great ar­se.

Con­struc­tion Site Of­fice
Townsville, Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Nao­mi

This Is Mak­ing Me Hun­gry

Guy #1: Who was Chief then?
Guy #2: Ac­cord­ing to the record, Dick Eaton.
Guy #3: Wait. Dick Eaton? So if he were fill­ing out a form to­day, last name first, he’d be…
Guy #1: You’re right! Case closed, that says it all!

26 Fed­er­al Plaza
New York, New York

Over­heard by: R. Smith

No One In­tel­li­gent Gets Mar­ried

Clerk #1: My nephew is get­ting mar­ried, and his moth­er is not hap­py.
Clerk #2: Why’s that?
Clerk #1: Well she is Mex­i­can, Ital­ian or maybe from In­dia. I don’t know. They just don’t like her. He’s re­al­ly in­tel­li­gent, but they’re wor­ried about him quit­ting col­lege now.

1400 Dou­glas Street
Om­a­ha, Ne­bras­ka

Over­heard by: un­be­liev­able