Archive for 2006

His Next Call Is to Napa Auto Parts to Make Dinner Reservations

Hostess: Thank you for calling Napa 29, how can I help you?…I’m sorry, sir, this is a restaurant, not an auto parts store…No sir, this is not Napa Auto Parts…No, sir…Sir, this is a restaurant. I don’t know how much a carburetor costs…Sir, I really don’t…Three hundred dollars and eighty nine cents…Yes, sir. Have a nice evening.

280 Teller Street, Suite 130
Corona, California

Overheard by: Sara

I Repose That You’re Right

Girl: So I told them to just go ahead and ship the extra reports to our suppository in –
Guy: -Wait, I’m sorry, what did you just say? Did you say “ship the reports to the suppository”?
Girl: Yeah…
Guy: Um, it’s “repository.” Suppositories are pills that go in your ass.

Pause.

Girl: Fuck.

Route 1 South
Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Emily

But You Can Pour This Cappuccino in Your Underpants

Starbucks customer: Yes, I’d like a grande Dolce & Gabbana latte?
Extremely patient barrista: You mean a Dolce cinnamon latte?
Starbucks customer: No! I said Dolce & Gabbana, and that’s what I want!
Extremely patient barrista: I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t sell that here anymore.

Starbucks, Indian River Road
Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: a smarter customer.