Archive for 2006

9AM Back to Work

Em­ploy­ee on phone: Wait, let me read you the email he sent out this morn­ing: “Just a re­minder that to­day, like every Fri­day, is ac­quit­tals day. So ac­quit, ac­quit, ac­quit away, and keep the fright­en­ing au­dits at bay.” Yep, poetry…See? This is why I’m leav­ing.

Eliz­a­beth Street
Syd­ney, Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Tiger­tail

10AM Dam­age Con­trol

Cowork­er: I did­n’t mean to diss Madon­na! It’s just that I feel at this mo­ment in my life, I’m over her.

163 Freelon Street
San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Eve S. Drop­per

1PM Cy­ber Flirt­ing

Em­ploy­ee #1: How many in­nings are in a base­ball game? Eight? Ten?
Em­ploy­ee #2: Are you se­ri­ous?
Em­ploy­ee #1: Yeah. C’­mon, how many?
Em­ploy­ee #2: Eight. Why do you want to know?
Em­ploy­ee #1: I’m talk­ing to this girl and I just told her she’s struck out at the bot­tom of the ninth, and then I wrote, “even though there’s on­ly eight in­nings in base­ball.” Ha ha.
Em­ploy­ee #2: Did you send the in­stant mes­sage?
Em­ploy­ee #1: Yeah.
Em­ploy­ee #2: There’s nine in­nings in base­ball.

215 Glen­brook Road
Storrs, Con­necti­cut

Over­heard by: try­ing to con­tain laugh­ter

12PM Lunch

Boss: Oh my god! There were things in there that I should have put away or hid­den, like sex toys in stuff that I keep in my un­der­wear draw­er.
Cowork­er: She would­n’t go in your un­der­wear draw­er.
Boss: Well that’s why she’s there…to help us pack. Oh my god, I have like two sets of hand­cuffs, too.

2355 West Bangs Av­enue
Nep­tune, New Jer­sey

2PM Straight to Voice­mail

At­tor­ney: Hey Jor­dan*, what have you done for me late­ly?
Jor­dan: Noth­ing, ac­tu­al­ly.
At­tor­ney: Any­thing you do for the boss, you do for me!
Jor­dan: Well in that case, I’ve been avoid­ing your phone calls late­ly.

4 Times Square
New York, New York

Over­heard by: Just look­ing…

1PM Re­fu­el­ing

Pow­er bro­ker #1: Two large cap­puc­ci­nos.
Cashier: Thank you. That will be $4.50.
Pow­er bro­ker #1: Where’s the cin­na­mon?
Cashier: I’m sor­ry, we’re out of cin­na­mon.
Pow­er bro­ker #1: Then I don’t want it!
Cashier: Ex­cuse me?
Pow­er bro­ker #2: Okay, let’s just bring it back to the of­fice.
Pow­er bro­ker #1: No! Just give me my mon­ey back. I can’t drink the foamy milk with­out the cin­na­mon.

100 Broad­way
New York, New York

Over­heard by: Mark