Archive for 2006

3PM Snack Run

Male su­per­vi­sor: Give Janet* one of those choco­late pret­zel things. Be­cause she’s go­ing on va­ca­tion and does­n’t have to fit in­to a bathing suit this week­end.
Janet*, aside: I swear, ran­dom peo­ple have been com­ing up to me all day ask­ing about my sup­posed nude beach trip to Ja­maica.
Male su­per­vi­sor: Let it all hang out, ba­by.

473 Ridge Road
Day­ton, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: of­fice pe­on

10AM Shoot­ing On Lo­ca­tion

Crack­head: I know you… you are that guy from TV.
Ryan Seacrest: Yeah… it’s me
Crack­head: You’re that guy from Fear Fac­tor.
Ryan Seacrest: No… I’m on that oth­er show, Amer­i­can Idol… You might have heard of it?
Crack­head: Look at me… I ain’t got no TV.

6th Street
Austin, Texas

12PM Lunch

Cowork­er #1: I think he had some kind of su­per­dog
Cowork­er #2: What is a Su­per­dog?
Cowork­er #1: I think they are dogs that do mouth-to-mouth re­sus­ci­ta­tion to re­tard­ed kids or some­thing.
Cowork­er #2: Oh… okay, yeah, I know the ones.

5885 NW Cor­nelius Pass Road
Hills­boro, Ore­gon

Over­heard by: Cu­ri­ous Lis­ten­er

9AM Back to Work

At­tor­ney Jim*: So is this what the em­barassed si­lence sounds like?
At­tor­ney Kei­th*: Yes. I feel aw­ful.
At­tor­ney Lou*: I’d give Jim’s right nut to be asleep right now.
Kei­th: To­tal­ly. I don’t know what time you guys left, but I did­n’t get home un­til 2.
Jim: I’m not sure what time we left ei­ther. But the tat­too par­lor was closed. That I’m def­i­nite on.
Kei­th: Oh, that’s too bad. I wish the room would stop spin­ning.
At­tor­ney Mark*: I feel amaz­ing to­day. There is noth­ing like com­ing in com­plete­ly hun­gover and talk­ing to Natasha* about how re­tard­ed she is. Lou, I killed you in our drink con­test. You had like five wines. You’re a light­weight.
Jim: Hey Mark, how’s that hick­ey on the side of you face, you ho­mo?

717 Madi­son Place NW
Wash­ing­ton, DC

5PM That’s a Wrap

Guy on phone: Why did­n’t you tell me you did­n’t get the fax?
Guy on phone: Well I specif­i­cal­ly wrote on the fax cov­er sheet, “If you don’t get this, call me.”

265 Madi­son Av­enue
New York, New York

Over­heard by: Ray Del Savio

1PM Num­ber Crunch­ing

Em­ploy­ee: Do you have the bud­get?
Ex­ec­u­tive: Yeah, I just don’t know where Din­gle Farts put it, you know, Mar­cus*.
Em­ploy­ee: You know you’re on speak­er­phone, right?
Em­ploy­ee and ex­ec­u­tive erupt in laugh­ter.
Ex­ec­u­tive: He’s right there, is­n’t he? He’s al­ways right there, lurk­ing…

6423 Wilshire Boule­vard
Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia