Archive for 2006

4PM Up­date Timesheets

HR: You mis­cod­ed your timesheets as va­ca­tion in­stead of hol­i­day.
Em­ploy­ee: What dif­fer­ence does it make? It’s a day off. Can’t you just fix it?
HR: The dif­fer­ence is that it put you over on your va­ca­tion time for the year.
Em­ploy­ee: But it was a hol­i­day. Can’t you just fix it?
HR: Do you know how many days off you have per year?
Em­ploy­ee: Yes, but holiday/vacation, it’s all a day off.
HR: Tell that to the em­ploy­ee that just got let go for mis­cod­ing time.
Em­ploy­ee: …I’ll fix it.

4400 Post Oak Park­way
Hous­ton, Texas

5PM That’s a Wrap

Work­er #1: How do you spell “vul­ner­a­ble”? V‑u-n-e-r-a-b-l‑e?
Work­er #2: No, it has an “l” in it. V‑u-l…
Work­er #1: Pfff, no. It’s v‑u-n-e-r-a-b-l‑e.
Work­er #2: It has an “l” in it. V‑u-l-n-e-r-a-b-l‑e.

Work­er #1 gets the dic­tio­nary and strug­gles to find it un­der v‑u-n.

Work­er #1: Oh…How pe­cu­liar! Hang on.
Work­er #2: V‑u-l-n-e-r-a-b-l‑e. Would you like me to give you the Latin root and re­lat­ed words? Vulnerare…vulnus…
Work­er #1: Well, I nev­er! It has an “l” in it! Well, well. You don’t pro­nounce it like that, though. What’s the “l” for?
Work­er #2: …It’s for mak­ing it a re­al word.

200 Green Lanes
Palmers Green, Lon­don
UK

Over­heard by: Peachey

3PM Snack Break

Co-work­er #1: I re­al­ly want to go get a cook­ie from the food cube, but [An­ne’s] us­ing the com­put­er in there
Co-work­er #2: Well, go get one any­way. And tell her to pull her pants
down.

127 Pub­lic Square
Cleve­land, Ohio

12PM Pol­i­cy Meet­ing

Spe­cial­ist: He thought it was “un­fair” that we’d charge him a fee for cash­ing out his cer­tifi­cate be­fore the ma­tu­ri­ty date.
Boss: He’s lucky he was talk­ing to you. I’d have told him, “I had to put my cat to sleep last night; that’s un­fair.”

2929 North May­fair Road
Mil­wau­kee, Wis­con­sin

9AM They’re At It Again

Co-work­er #1: Don’t you think the en­ter key is kind of phal­lic? You know–how it’s all “en­ter” with an ar­row point­ing?
Co-work­er #2: Huh. Yeah. Weird.
Co-work­er #1: And there’s the back­space but­ton too. Ar­row points the same way.
Co-work­er #2: Yeah, maybe that’s so gay peo­ple don’t feel left out?

350 Madi­son Av­enue
New York, NY