Archive for 2006

4PM Call [Chris]

Re­cep­tion­ist on speak­er: I’m sor­ry. [Chris] is still on the phone. Would you like his voice­mail?
Cus­tomer: No. I am afraid he won’t call back, and this is an emer­gency.
Re­cep­tion­ist: I can put you on hold again. But he has had a lot of calls to­day, and I don’t know how long it will be be­fore you can speak to him.
Cus­tomer: I would like to kick his butt.
Re­cep­tion­ist: I’m sor­ry. You will have to stand in line to do that.

5711 East FM-40
Lub­bock, Texas

1PM Lunch

Work­er: [The boss] treats me like I’m his lit­tle daugh­ter or some­thing. That’s a lot of pres­sure. I can’t be per­fect all of the time.

180 East Ocean Boule­vard
Long Beach, Cal­i­for­nia

4PM Re­stock Print­er

Of­fice work­er: The pa­per com­ing out of the print­er is re­al­ly hot! It’s nev­er been that hot be­fore. Can we do some­thing to cool it down?
Tech: Oh, I for­got! I put the sum­mer pa­per in there! I’ll switch to the win­ter pa­per! Give me 10 min­utes.

1700 Palm Beach Lakes Boule­vard
West Palm Beach, Flori­da

4PM An­nu­al Re­view

Lawyer: You need to learn how to be hu­man. Be less per­fect; you don’t have to be so pre­cise about every­thing. Be less pro­fes­sion­al. Any ques­tions?
Sec­re­tary: Yeah. Do you have a hand­book for how to be hu­man?
Lawyer: Oh, now you’re go­ing to be a smar­tass.

701 5th Av­enue
Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

10AM Tech Sup­port

Tech on phone: Okay, go ahead and type in your password…Yep, just type it in…In the pass­word field…Just type it…With your keyboard…Should be right in front of you… Has let­ters on it…Great!

3601 SW Mur­ray Boule­vard
Beaver­ton, Ore­gon

Over­heard by: onebad­web­mon­key

9AM Back to Work

Em­ploy­ee #1: Wear­ing the pin­stripe to­day, eh? Re­al banker-like.
Man­ag­er: Yeah, makes me work hard­er. But you should see me at 4:30. I’ll be wear­ing jeans and a sweat­shirt and work­ing the park.
Em­ploy­ee #1: Par­don?
Man­ag­er: I’ll be sell­ing hot choco­late.
Em­ploy­ee #2: Is that your name there or the prod­uct you’ll be sell­ing?

3 King Street S
Wa­ter­loo, On­tario
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: SAM BRUN­TON-LEWIS