Archive for 2006

10AM Mail Con­tracts

Ware­house work­er: Can you fax this doc­u­ment to a P.O. box for me?
Ship­ping clerk: Usu­al­ly I would “fax” this to a P.O. Box for you [Gi­na], but my fax ma­chine is down right now. So maybe you should “buy” a stamp and use the Postal Ser­vice for this one!
Ware­house work­er: Oh, okay, thanks for the help. Where do we keep the
stamps and who works in the Postal Ser­vice?

495 3rd Street
Pineville, Louisiana

Over­heard by: Lesn N. Tothem

10AM Call Col­lec­tions Dept.

Ac­count Man­ag­er: I’m get­ting more se­ri­ous get­ting these peo­ple to pay. I’ve been let­ting them know if they don’t call me back, I’ll have to take af­fir­ma­tive ac­tion!
Gen­er­al Man­ag­er: Do you know what that means?
Ac­count Man­ag­er: Yeah! It means I’m se­ri­ous!
Gen­er­al Man­ag­er: No, “af­fir­ma­tive ac­tion” is when you give some­one a job just be­cause they’re a cer­tain mi­nor­i­ty group or sex.
Ac­count Man­ag­er: Oh. I bet they don’t know what it means ei­ther!

1570 North Mc­Mullen Booth Road
Clear­wa­ter, Flori­da

4PM Mail Thank You Notes

Em­ploy­ee #1: I don’t know what to write.
Em­ploy­ee #2: How about, “I’m sur­prised you cheap skanks chipped in ten bucks a piece”?
Em­ploy­ee #1: …I was think­ing more, “I am sure I will get a lot of use out of this.”

327 West Michi­gan Av­enue
Kala­ma­zoo, Michi­gan

3PM Cof­fee Break

Co-work­er #1: Man, it’s freez­ing out­side.
Co-work­er #2: My out­side ther­mome­ter says it’s 83 de­grees.
Co-work­er #3: Maybe it’s in met­rics or some­thing.

1345 Mon­roe Av­enue NW
Grand Rapids, Michi­gan