Archive for 2006

5PM That’s a Wrap

Guy on phone: Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t get the fax?
Pause
Guy on phone: Well I specifically wrote on the fax cover sheet, “If you don’t get this, call me.”

265 Madison Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Ray Del Savio

1PM Number Crunching

Employee: Do you have the budget?
Executive: Yeah, I just don’t know where Dingle Farts put it, you know, Marcus*.
Employee: You know you’re on speakerphone, right?
Pause
Employee and executive erupt in laughter.
Pause
Executive: He’s right there, isn’t he? He’s always right there, lurking…

6423 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

10AM Sorting Applications

Office manager: Ohh, this one speaks Spanish.
Sales guy: Where’s he from?
Office manager: No, no, he’s an English guy that speaks Spanish.
Sales guy: Oh!
Office manager: So he can translate everything that Ramiro* in the warehouse is trying to tell us!
Sales guy: Plus one for the Spanish-speaker!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

1PM Customer Service Desk

Customer: So I just bought a DVD/VCR player here and I put it in my boyfriend’s car but it wasn’t really my boyfriend’s car because that car that I put the player in is gone now and my boyfriend’s car is still here.
Pause
Customer: Is there a form or something that I can fill out?

400 North Alafaya Trail
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: KTB

10AM Cappucino Run

Executive #1: We will never promote her. She is fucked up. Did you see her at the company picnic with her son?
Executive #2: No. What happened?
Executive #1: She was breastfeeding him!
Executive #2: So what?
Executive #1: He’s like 5 years old!
Pause
Executive #2: When is the next picnic?

1 Becton Drive
Franklin Lakes, New Jersey

9AM Back to Work

Boss: Where is Luke*?
Assistant: He took a day off. His brother got meningitis.
Boss: That’s a bitch. If his brother doesn’t die he will be a complete idiot for the rest of his life.
Assistant: How you know that?
Boss: I had it as a child.

101 North Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois