Archive for 2006

9AM Back to Work

Co-work­er: My nick­name at work is Blondie. For some rea­son, every­where I work my nick­name ends up be­ing Blondie. And I don’t even tell them that was my nick­name be­fore!

193 Maple Av­enue
North Plain­field, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Megan

3PM Ven­dor Call

Co-work­er #1, speak­ing loud­ly on head­set phone: Well, yeah, I can to­tal­ly re­late to back­log prob­lems! I mean dur­ing that re­fi boom we were just wall to wall with box­es full of pa­pers. We were up to our necks in pa­pers! If the fire mar­shal would’ve come in here, I’m pret­ty pos­i­tive that he would’ve shut us down!

Co-work­er #2: Should he re­al­ly be say­ing that to our ven­dors?

Co-work­er #3: Well, if we ever get closed down due to our ven­dors call­ing the fire de­part­ment on us, at least we’ll know who to thank for the days off.

1350 Dem­ing Way
Mid­dle­ton, Wis­con­sin

2PM Smoke Break

Em­ploy­ee #1: Ugh! I hate it when [Al­li­son] brings her brat­ty kid to work.
Em­ploy­ee #2: [Al­li­son] knows he is a brat. He turned her in­to a coy­ote moth­er.
Em­ploy­ee #1: What?!
Em­ploy­ee #2: A coy­ote moth­er is when you gnaw your own ovaries off so you can’t have more brats.

High­way 80
Pearl, Mis­sis­sip­pi

1PM Va­ca­tion Memo

Boss: Did I for­get to tell you that we will be open this Mon­day? I de­cid­ed not to close the of­fice af­ter all.

Em­ploy­ee: For what?

Boss: It’s La­bor Day, and I was go­ing to close the of­fice, but de­cid­ed not to.

Em­ploy­ee: It’s not La­bor Day! Memo­r­i­al Day is this month, but not un­til the end of the month.

Boss: It says right here on my cal­en­dar it’s La­bor Day. I thought it was weird that La­bor and Memo­r­i­al Day were in the same month.

Em­ploy­ee: Let me see that cal­en­dar… Oh, for God’s sakes, do you see that M by the date?

Boss: Um­mm, yeah.

Em­ploy­ee: That means La­bor Day for Mex­i­co!

Boss: No kid­ding! Wow, I feel re­al­ly stu­pid!

Em­ploy­ee: Yeah, you should! Hap­py La­bor Day, Senori­ta!

4302 West Crys­tal Lake Road
McHen­ry, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: Gram­ma

10AM Cof­fee Break

Em­ploy­ee to uni­formed em­ploy­ee: You work­ing to­day?
UE looks down at shirt: Nope, I’m just a fig­ment of your imag­i­na­tion.

1125 Woodruff Road
Greenville, South Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Ro­man Fox