Archive for 2006

12PM Team Meet­ing

Co-work­er #1: So how’s your bel­ly but­ton?
Co-work­er #2: Um…it’s okay.
Co-work­er #1: You know my dad’s scar looks like he has 3 bel­ly but­tons.
Co-work­er #2: Oh yeah? Well, my friend’s is­n’t even in the right place. It’s like way down here.
In­tern #1: So it’s like she has a ex­tra vag?
In­tern #2: This is like the weird­est thing I’ve heard at work.

600 Wa­ter Street SW
Wash­ing­ton, DC

Over­heard by: ADS

2PM Fol­low Up with HR

Sec­re­tary: I could swear that I read that if you have a death in the fam­i­ly you au­to­mat­i­cal­ly get two days off.
Nurse: Well, I looked it up in the pro­to­col. You can have days off, but they’re just reg­u­lar PTO.
Sec­re­tary: Right, I know they’re PTO, but I swear I read that they’re au­to­mat­ic if you have a death in the fam­i­ly.
Nurse: No, it’s like any oth­er PTO, you have to have them ap­proved by your su­per­vi­sor.
Sec­re­tary: I swear I read that you get those days off for a fam­i­ly death.
Nurse: Well, I’m sure every su­per­vi­sor would be hap­py to quick­ly ap­prove your PTO if some­one dies.
Sec­re­tary: Yeah, but I swear I read some­where that you get two days au­to­mat­i­cal­ly for that.
Nurse: Please, tell me one more time about how you read that some­where.

Med­ical Cen­ter Boule­vard
Win­ston-Salem, North Car­oli­na

1PM Lunch

Co-work­er #1: How do peo­ple get mir­rors to stay on the ceil­ing?
Co-work­er #2: Not sure.
Co-work­er #3: We used rub­ber ce­ment. We put up a few four foot square mir­rors, with­out frames.
Co-work­er #1: Rub­ber ce­ment? Did it hold good?
Co-work­er #3: They’ve stayed up for four years, but my hus­band is too afraid to have sex with­out be­ing cov­ered with a blan­ket. He thinks they might fall and cut his dick off.

4150 Belden Vil­lage Street NW
North Can­ton, Ohio

Over­heard by: Kyosho

12PM Call Clients

Port­fo­lio Man­ag­er: She’s pissed that I did­n’t sell the stock be­fore it
went down.
Trad­er: Don’t you know that you are sup­posed to know when that’s gonna
hap­pen?
Port­fo­lio Man­ag­er: I guess not…

1900 East Ninth Street
Cleve­land, Ohio