Worker #1: Here’s a copy of the memo.
Worker #2: What’s it say?
Worker #1: Nothing. It’s absolutely useless.
3900 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, California
Archive for 2006
9AM Back to Work
Boss: Just tell him to call me on my mobile.
Employee: Okay.
Boss: Oh, wait, you’ve probably never heard of that since you’re not from New York. It’s the same thing as a cell phone.
2130 H Street NW
Washington, DC
2PM Call Tech Support
Co-worker: I think my computer just froze up. The mouse pointer won’t move on the screen.
Supervisor: Did you check the batteries?
1350 Massachusetts Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
1PM Lunch
Receptionist: He’s charged with digital rape, but I don’t see how you can rape someone over the internet.
501 Latrobe Street
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
11AM Review Plans
Assistant: Well, do you still have that copy of the Specific Plan?
Project Manager: I don’t know where it is.
Assistant: Wasn’t it on your desk yesterday?
Project Manager: Yeah, but I think it’s spread its legs.
Assistant: What?
Project Manager: You know, spread its legs. You know what I mean.
Assistant: Sprouted legs?
1580 Metro Drive
Costa Mesa, California
4PM Staff Meeting
Director: I don’t think that will cut the mustard.
Manager: You mean “pass muster”?
Director: No, it’s “cut the mustard!”
Manager: I think you’re trying to say you cut the cheese.
8001 Irvine Center Drive
Irvine, Calif.
Overheard by: Pffft
2PM Update Database
SysAdmin: What users do you want me to move to the Gig Harbor office?
User on speaker: [Melinda] from Kirkland.
SysAdmin: I show [Melinda] as being in Reno.
User on speaker: Oh, maybe that’s her sister.
SysAdmin: Her sister is also named [Melinda]?…Hello?
User on speaker: Can I call you back on that?
8655 South Eastern Avenue
Las Vegas, Nevada
1PM Lunch
Supervising Editor: That’s why I hate bananas. They’re just too unpredictable.
2 Penn Plaza
New York, NY
12PM Managers Meeting
Hospitality Director: It’s really a customer service issue. I mean, a customer could come in and their boss has gone down on them and a smile could really pick them up.
1515 Sheridan Road NE
Atlanta, Georgia