Archive for November, 2006

I’m Also Real Good at Hiding in the Stock Room

Chick: So you don’t know anything about anything behind the service desk?
Old manager: No, nothing.
Chick: So what happens if someone comes in here and robs us? You don’t know how to push the button to call the cops?
Old manager: No.
Chick: So… what if that happens?
Old manager: I do know how to hire a new person.

Lawyers Road
Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: CSReppingsucks.

For a Telemarketer Who Has an IQ above 70, Press ‘2’

Homeowner answering telephone: Hola.
Telemarketer, in broken English: I am calling to tell you about a new calling plan…
Homeowner: No habla Ingles.
Telemarketer: Do you speak English?
Homeowner: No habla Ingles.
Telemarketer, speaking very slowly: Then I will speak English very slowly to you.
Homeowner: No habla Ingles, adios.

921 South Irby Street
Florence, South Carolina

Overheard by: Dun Ben Ther

Wait, How Do You Spell It in a Fake British Accent, Again?

Middle-aged guy #1 looking at menu: Hey, man, they spelled ‘Caesar’ wrong.
Middle-aged guy #2: What do you mean?
Middle-aged guy #1: They spelled it C-A-E-S-A-R instead of C-E-A-S-A-R. They switched the ‘A’ and ‘E.’
Middle-aged guy #2: Yeah, I’ve seen it spelled that way before. It’s, like, the authentic Roman spelling.
Middle-aged guy #1: Oh, yeah, they were always doing crazy shit… Like backward V’s and stuff.

Sam Snead’s Tavern
Shawnee on Delaware, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Logan