Archive for September, 2006

The Human-Powered Watercraft Speed Record Is a Seductive Mistress

Girl #1: It’s like that kid that was kidnapped for all those years, and then they found him and he was back with his family… but then he died a few years later in a boatorcycle accident.
Girl #2: A boatorcycle accident?
Girl #1: I meant motorcycle.
Girl #2: Yeah, I was gonna say… if he was boatorcycling it would have been his own fault. I mean, he shouldn’t have been boatorcycling.
Girl #1: I know!

4310 Sherwoodtowne Boulevard
Mississauga, Ontario, Canada

I Dare You to Ask If He Has a Navel

Suit: Jim’s* door is locked. Is he not here?
Woman #1: No, his mother’s in the hospital.
Suit: Damn!
Woman #1: Not very synthetic, is he.

1500 John F. Kennedy Boulevard
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Not synthetic, very real

He’ll Marry the First Girl Who Says ‘Yes’

Sales chick, holding sales order: How big is this part? Can it go UPS or does it need a skid?
Warehouse guy: Oh, no, that one is real small. It could fit up my nose.
Sales chick: Um… OK, moving on… They asked for this part a week ago, so I’m going to have it ship today instead of with their large order. Thanks!
Warehouse guy, sticking finger up his nose: Are you sure you don’t want to see how big it is?

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina