Agent: Thank you for calling the help desk. Can I have your first and last name, please?
Customer: Is Eudora down?
Agent: Um, Eudora is a program that is isolated on your computer. It is not a system or network of everyone’s email.
Customer: Is Eudora [campus email] down?
Agent: No.
Customer: I’ll call my cable company.
Customer hangs up.
University of Wisconsin
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Brandon
Voice on intercom: Would the person who ordered a pizza please come up front to pay for it? What? Oh! Cancel the last announcement. It is the Fed Ex guy not the pizza guy.
57060 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Male co-worker: That’s the thing about black people. They’ll just sing their favorite song out loud. Like they don’t care that they’re in public.
Female co-worker: Well, that’s because they have better voices than we do.
1000 Techwood
Atlanta, Georgia
Man: They are having wild fires out West again.
Woman: Maybe we should send them marshmallows.
5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Co-worker #1: What are you up to tonight?
Co-worker #2: After the week I’ve had, I’m getting so drunk I pee on something.
Co-worker #1: Cool.
College Station Drive
Macon, Georgia
Co-worker #1 gives co-worker #2 the hand signal for devil horns.
Co-worker #3, returning the signal: Loser.
Co-worker #1: What did you say that for?
Co-worker #3: You called me a loser, so I called you a loser.
Co-worker #1: I did not. I was giving Kelly* the devil horns.
Co-worker #3: Oh, sorry.
Co-worker #1: It’s okay. I guess it’s easy to think that people are calling you a loser because you still live with your parents.
800 Market Street
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: We were supposed to be working
PM: Hey, Craig*, can you [makes weird slurping noise]?
Craig: No thanks, I’m married.
PM: I don’t know what that means.
191 Oak Plaza Drive
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Coworker: I have one word for this project: absolutely ridiculous.
111 Huntington
Boston, Massachusetts
Patient: So how is your blood pressure?
Dentist: Oh, it’s just fine. Thanks.
Dentist winces.
Dentist: Except when people bite my finger. When people bite my finger, it shoots way, way up.
105 Terrebonne Road
Grafton, Virginia
Nurse on phone: I’m sorry, she said she doesn’t want to talk to you… Uh huh… Well, we can’t make a patient talk to someone on the phone… I’m sorry, that’s what she said. You’re her husband, right? Oh, you’re her mother! Just a moment, please.
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina