Archive for May, 2006

10AM Cappucino Run

Executive #1: We will never promote her. She is fucked up. Did you see her at the company picnic with her son?
Executive #2: No. What happened?
Executive #1: She was breastfeeding him!
Executive #2: So what?
Executive #1: He’s like 5 years old!
Pause
Executive #2: When is the next picnic?

1 Becton Drive
Franklin Lakes, New Jersey

9AM Back to Work

Boss: Where is Luke*?
Assistant: He took a day off. His brother got meningitis.
Boss: That’s a bitch. If his brother doesn’t die he will be a complete idiot for the rest of his life.
Assistant: How you know that?
Boss: I had it as a child.

101 North Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

11AM Between Meetings

Suit #1: Whenever it rains, you come to work wearing plastic pants. Why do you get to wear plastic pants? My boss wouldn’t let me wear plastic pants.
“Suit” #2: If you could do what I can do, you could wear plastic pants, too.

4 Irving Place
New York, New York

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

4PM Paradigm Shift

Boss #1: What’s he doing up there? We’re not supposed to park there now.
Receptionist: Subverting the dominant paradigm?
Boss #1: Which means?
Receptionist: Breaking the rules?
Boss #1: Hah! That’s great. Hey [Boss #2]! You’re subverting the dominant paradigm!
Boss #2: You don’t know what subvert means!
Boss #1: I don’t know what the hell paradigm means!
Boss #2: Now as for dominant…
Boss #1: Shut up!

3211 Martin Luther King Jr. Way S
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Lowly Peon

1PM Call on Line One

Receptionist: [Jake] from Queer Image is on line one for you.
Coworker: [Jake] from where?
Receptionist: Queer Image.
Coworker: Queer Image?
Receptionist: Uh-huh.
Coworker, giggling, picks up call: [Jake], what company did you say you were calling from? Ohhhhh, CLEAR Image.

150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut

Overheard by: She cracks me up, and she’s not even trying