Boss on phone: If I ever do something that dumb again I want you to hit me. Hit me like a woman!
1621 18th Street
Denver, Colorado
Archive for March, 2006
3PM Smoke Break
Peon #1: Why is Laura gone already?
Peon #2: She had some medical stuff done today, I believe through the rectum, so she went home.
1441 West Long Lake Road
Troy, Michigan
9AM Back to Work
Manager: I should send you guys a screenshot of my desktop. It looks like Bill Gates threw up all over it.
17601 Brook Park Road
Brook Park, Ohio
5PM That’s a Wrap
Co-worker: Where the fuck are the urinals?
Stall: Wrong bathroom, buddy.
1055 North Cruise Boulevard
Port of Miami, Florida
Overheard by: WordPower
1PM Lunch
Clerk: Why is there a wet floor sign on the carpet?
Supervisor: Sometimes I get excited.
Clerk: I miss working with you. You always know just what to say.
1201 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jessica Kalup
11AM Radio for Backup?
Admin: Some angry guys are going to come in the office looking for one of the executives. They may threaten you and yell at you but just tell them to go away. Whatever you do, don’t bother us with it.
Receptionist: Okay, while I’m up here fighting for my life, I’ll be sure not to bother you all.
817 West Peachtree Street NW
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Elle George
10AM Division Meeting
Division Manager: I hate it when logic happens.
1930 Bishop Lane
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Doug Whitworth
9AM Back to Work
Editor #1: Should we tell the author we lost that whole section of the manuscript?
Editor #2: No, let’s not announce that we’re incompetent.
Editor #1: Yeah, let’s let it be a surprise.
8700 Shoal Creek Boulevard
Austin, Texas
5PM That’s a Wrap
Boss: Can I see your boobs today?
Underling: Now would be a good time to put in my two weeks.
950 Eller Drive
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
4PM Restock Cabinet
Co-worker #1: Oh, you have some good supplies. Anything I can steal?
Co-worker #2: Uh, you can have some markers.
Co-worker #1: No, that’s okay; I’ve got markers up the ass.
633 North St. Clair Street
Chicago, Illinois