Archive for 2005

4PM QA

Co-worker: How about the software configuration?
Analyst: Your questions are very annoying!
Co-worker: I’m guessing you shouldn’t tell clients they are annoying.

8315 Century Park Court
San Diego, California

12PM Follow Up with Buyer

Manager: Did you get a response back from that email you sent to the buyer yet?
Co-worker: No; I didn’t ask her for one. She knew what action I took and if she didn’t agree with me, she can call me.
Manager: No, no. You should always include “please advise” in the email, in case they don’t receive the email.

8000 Bent Branch Drive
Irving, Texas

10AM Call HR

Secretary: I can’t talk to her any longer. She’s so disrespectful.
Boss: …Really.
Secretary: Yes! Can you please talk to her ’cause I’ve had enough.
Boss: Well, since we’ve been acquired by the new company, they’re really big on that.
Secretary: Huh?
Boss: You know. Respect. It used to be a lot easier around here.

1775 Broadway
New York, NY

9AM TGIF

Supervisor: Let me tell you. boy, we’re going to play Marine Corps baseball here. You play ball with me or I’ll shove the bat up your ass!

550 South Hope Street
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Oldcorps 50

5PM Goodnight Moon

Co-worker #1: Why are you sitting there starring at your monitor while the computer is off?
Co-worker #2: Because I recieved a server message stating that it was going to install something on my computer and that I should save everything before 15 minutes are up because the system will shut down.
Co-worker #1: Did you save everything?
Co-worker #2: Yes.
Co-worker #1: Did the computer shut down by itself?
Co-worker #2: Yes.
Co-worker #1: So, why are you sitting there starring at the monitor while the computer is off?
Co-worker #2: I’m waiting for the computer to start back up.
Co-worker #1: Have you pressed the power button?
Co-worker #2: No.

1000 Jerry St. Pe’ Highway
Pascagoula, Mississippi

2PM Forward Some Spam

Boss: I think there’s something wrong with my computer! You better call the help desk.
Assistant: Sure, what’s the problem?
Boss: Well, I logged into my computer this morning and I only have 5 emails.
Assistant: …And you usually have more.
Boss: Yes, I have at least 50 each morning.
Assistant: The help desk can only fix your computer, not your popularity. Sorry.

1775 Broadway
New York, NY

1PM Run Errands

Receptionist: Argh! My arm is so itchy. I’m, like, allergic to work!
Co-worker: Stop scratching; you are making it worse! At lunch, go
and get an antihistamine to stop the swelling.
Receptionist: Antihistamine or antiinflammatory? I think it’s
inflamed. What’s the difference anyway?
Co-worker: Antihistamine is something that is not histamine, and
antiinflammatory is something that’s not inflammatory.
Receptionist: So I’ll ask the chemist?

25 Parramatta Road
Underwood, Queensland
Australia