Co-worker: How about the software configuration?
Analyst: Your questions are very annoying!
Co-worker: I’m guessing you shouldn’t tell clients they are annoying.
8315 Century Park Court
San Diego, California
Co-worker: How about the software configuration?
Analyst: Your questions are very annoying!
Co-worker: I’m guessing you shouldn’t tell clients they are annoying.
8315 Century Park Court
San Diego, California
Supervisor: We have to use E. G.
Co-worker: “E. G.”?
Supervisor: Yeah, engineering judgment.
20000 Rotunda Drive
Dearborn, Michigan
Secretary: I can’t talk to her any longer. She’s so disrespectful.
Boss: …Really.
Secretary: Yes! Can you please talk to her ’cause I’ve had enough.
Boss: Well, since we’ve been acquired by the new company, they’re really big on that.
Secretary: Huh?
Boss: You know. Respect. It used to be a lot easier around here.
1775 Broadway
New York, NY
Supervisor: Let me tell you. boy, we’re going to play Marine Corps baseball here. You play ball with me or I’ll shove the bat up your ass!
550 South Hope Street
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Oldcorps 50
Co-worker #1: Why are you sitting there starring at your monitor while the computer is off?
Co-worker #2: Because I recieved a server message stating that it was going to install something on my computer and that I should save everything before 15 minutes are up because the system will shut down.
Co-worker #1: Did you save everything?
Co-worker #2: Yes.
Co-worker #1: Did the computer shut down by itself?
Co-worker #2: Yes.
Co-worker #1: So, why are you sitting there starring at the monitor while the computer is off?
Co-worker #2: I’m waiting for the computer to start back up.
Co-worker #1: Have you pressed the power button?
Co-worker #2: No.
1000 Jerry St. Pe’ Highway
Pascagoula, Mississippi
Boss: I think there’s something wrong with my computer! You better call the help desk.
Assistant: Sure, what’s the problem?
Boss: Well, I logged into my computer this morning and I only have 5 emails.
Assistant: …And you usually have more.
Boss: Yes, I have at least 50 each morning.
Assistant: The help desk can only fix your computer, not your popularity. Sorry.
1775 Broadway
New York, NY
Receptionist: Argh! My arm is so itchy. I’m, like, allergic to work!
Co-worker: Stop scratching; you are making it worse! At lunch, go
and get an antihistamine to stop the swelling.
Receptionist: Antihistamine or antiinflammatory? I think it’s
inflamed. What’s the difference anyway?
Co-worker: Antihistamine is something that is not histamine, and
antiinflammatory is something that’s not inflammatory.
Receptionist: So I’ll ask the chemist?
25 Parramatta Road
Underwood, Queensland
Australia
Employee on phone: Yeah, that’s a little redundant.
Boss: You can say that again.
1 Whitehall Street
New York, NY
Co-worker: If we can have trampolines and flying elves, then I can be Stevie Wonder!
75 9th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: CC
District Supervisor: Wait, maybe I misunderstood him, but was he saying “Bachelor’s Degree”?
Regional Manager: Actually, the words he used were “Bastard’s Degree.”
District Supervisor: Ha, ha! I thought so but I didn’t think he could be that ignorant.
Regional Manager: Well, he is a retarded ex-con with personality disorders.
District Supervisor: Yeah, you’re right.
3651 Cedarcrest Avenue
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Joshua Carpenter
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist