Archive for 2005

5PM Call­ing It a Day!

Un­der­ling: You’ve got mail!
Fi­nan­cial An­a­lyst: I don’t know that per­son. All right, I’ll take it.
Un­der­ling: There was some white pow­der in there, but I smelled it; it seemed fine.
Fi­nan­cial An­a­lyst: Well, that’s good. Ter­ror­ists don’t use an­thrax any­more.
Un­der­ling: Just fam­i­ly and friends now, huh? Ex­cel­lent.

27 Ter­race Dri­ve
Ver­non, Con­necti­cut

3PM Cof­fee Run

Co-work­er #1: I’m get­ting rest­less. I feel like I wan­na go run­ning or some­thing.
Co-work­er #2: It’s aw­ful cold out there.
Co-work­er #1: Well, plus, I’m wear­ing a suit, huh?
Co-work­er #2: Ever see that movie Falling Down?

1241 South Wabash Av­enue
Chica­go, Illi­nois

11AM Set Up New Ac­counts

Cowork­er #1: It’s ask­ing for an ac­count num­ber be­fore it gives you one.
Cowork­er #2: Uh…
Cowork­er #1: It says “please en­ter the num­ber of ac­counts.”
Cowork­er #2: Yeah, how many do you want? 1, 2, or 3.
Cowork­er #1: Oh, I see.

1220 Sen­lac Dri­ve
Car­roll­ton, Texas

10AM Vis­it Con­struc­tion Site

Re­cep­tion­ist: What’s that?
Work­er: It’s the Phoenix Project lo­go.
Re­cep­tion­ist: Why’s there a bird on it?
Man­ag­er #1: You have got to be kid­ding?
Re­cep­tion­ist: What?
Man­ag­er #2: Bird, Phoenix? Hel­lo?
Re­cep­tion­ist: I don’t get it.
Clerk: Okay, the bird…it’s a phoenix.
Re­cep­tion­ist: Phoenix is a city.
Clerk: …Phoenix is, al­so, a mytho­log­i­cal bird.
Re­cep­tion­ist: Named af­ter the city?

10 Miles South of Bat­tle Moun­tain
Bat­tle Moun­tain, Neva­da

3PM Cof­fee Break

Co-work­er #1: So, I think I have de­cid­ed to give up caf­feine. But I can’t de­cide if I should give up liq­uid caf­feine, or sug­ar caf­feine.
Co-work­er #2: You should give up the liq­uid kind.
Co-work­er #1: Does that mean I have to give up my cof­fee in the morn­ings?
Co-work­er #2: Naw, just cut back on the amount of pop you drink.

6700 An­ti­och Road
Over­land Park, Kansas