Sales engineer: Hey, you can’t use that, that’s a sales punch!
Accountant: Care to see a finance punch?
59 Marsh Lane
Solihull, West Midlands
UK
Sales engineer: Hey, you can’t use that, that’s a sales punch!
Accountant: Care to see a finance punch?
59 Marsh Lane
Solihull, West Midlands
UK
Banker: You can’t leave your coffee cup on the edge of my desk. A client almost drank out of it today.
Secretary: You know you want to lick my rim.
2 South Main Street
Youngstown, Ohio
Office Clerk #1: Have you noticed that there aren’t any ceiling sprinklers in this entire building?
Office Clerk #2: Y’know, you’re right. But there are smoke detectors.
Office Clerk #1: And those will certainly help put out the flames when we’re trapped in our cubicles.
Supervisor: Well…maybe the sprinklers are above the false ceiling.
Employee #1: Oh…so when there is a fire the sprinklers will soak the ceiling tiles which will cause them to fall to the ground and smother the flames?
406 West 34th Street
Kansas City, Missouri
Boss: Where did that report go? I have a meeting in less than ten minutes! Where did you put that report?…I just had it! Why do you keep hiding things on me?
Secretary: Look in your briefcase.
Boss: It’s not in my briefcase! I just looked in it! Why would it be in my briefcase?
Secretary: Because you just put it in there, dumbass.
Boss: No, I didn’t! I would know if it’s in my briefcase!
Secretary: You sure?
Boss: Yes! I’m positive! I know it’s not…Oh, here it is.
Secretary: And where was it…?
Boss: In my briefcase.
Secretary: Dumbass…go to your meeting and stop bugging me.
Boss: I have to buy you lunch again, don’t I?
Secretary: Yep. And don’t even think that Burger King is going to cut it this time.
One Penn Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: mshorty
Computer Technician: Wow, it’s amazing what kind of difference a couple of inches can make…Have you seen [Ben]‘s?
The other technicians burst out laughing.
Computer Technican: I meant his new 19″ monitor. Grow up.
1035 64th Avenue SE
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Office worker: Why does it say “lack of milk”? The whole fridge is full!
Translated from the Swedish.
Arstaangsvagen 21
Stockholm, Sweden
Suit: Um, you have some sort of foreign object in your hair.
Electrician: Yeah, they threw confetti at me at the last office.
111 West Ocean Boulevard
Long Beach, California
Worker Bee: How many people do we have signed up so far?
Middle Manager: So far as have 35 RSTDs.
Worker Bee: Hmm, we should really stock up on more antibiotics.
1155 East 60th Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: eazy_e
Co-worker #1: Isn’t it true that a tick can get into your ear and work its way into your brain?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: I’m worried that a tick or some kind of bug has worked its way into my brain…I’ve had an awful earache for about two weeks now.
3 Berkshire Boulevard
Bethel, Connecticut
Co-worker #1: We’re like The A‑Team.
Co-worker #2: I get to be BA Baracus since I’m the only black one.
1634 Broadway
New York, NY
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist