Guy employee: So I read in the news today that drinking from Nalgene bottles while you’re pregnant may cause a miscarriage.
Girl employee: Oh my gosh! My best friend just had a miscarriage, and she drinks from a Nalgene bottle all the time!
Guy employee: See?
Tully’s Coffee, Union Station
Seattle, Washington
Female coworker, threatening another female coworker: Well, if I get a fucking yeast infection, you’re going to be the first to hear about it!
6th & Maple
Spokane, Washington
Girl: Did you ever eat SpaghettiO’s when you were a kid?
Guy: No, my parents loved me.
Grocery Store
Vancouver, Washington
Patient to neurologist, exiting examination room: Yes, it really makes you wonder if it’s worth it to go on, if you’re just going to end up a horrible vampire.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: so true
Assistant: They’ve already designed the corn maze for a Lewis & Clark theme.
Account executive: Why did they choose Superman?
Assistant: [Stumped silence.]
Thomas Street
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Pants
Fire chief to maintenance worker: I need one with a big bottom, so it doesn’t flip over.
Washington State
Over the cube wall: That’s apples and oranges. But the oranges are red.
2nd Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Murray
(crunching water bottle noise)
Girl admin, in sassy tone: Hey! Those are the breast cancer water bottles – show some respect!
IT guy: Yeah – that’s why I’m…
Girl admin: Squishing it?!
IT guy: You said it! Not me!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: That’s what she said
Marcoms manager: The new Bluetooth dongles are here.
VP of operations: Can I have a dongle?
Marcoms manager: You just like saying the word “dongle.“
VP of operations: Actually, I already have a dongle, it’s just not a Bluetooth one. (winks)
Marcoms manager: So you can’t use it from 33 feet away?
VP of operations: Nope. If I could, that would be like a Tyrannosaurus dongle!
Seattle, Washington
Co-worker #1: Also I watched [Ernest] get into basically a penis-measuring contest with his roommate.
Co-worker #2: Over what?
Co-worker #1: Well…who was the fittest, and about who makes more hourly.
Co-worker #2: Who won?
Co-worker #1: In two weeks they’re going to have a run around Greenlake, and [Anthony] says in a couple of months he’ll make more hourly again.
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist