Archive for the ‘Violence’ Category

When Blue­tooth Went Youtooth

Em­ploy­ee ac­com­pa­nied by small child: I smashed it on the ground and then I hit it with a chair, and now it feels like it’s on fire. It’s not, but it feels that way.
Small child: (in­audi­ble)
Em­ploy­ee: No, I don’t think any blood­’s com­ing out.

Red­mond, Wash­ing­ton

Every An­geli­na Jolie Movie: En­cap­su­lat­ed.

30-some­thing red­head to old­er male lunch com­pan­ion: I’m kind of dis­gust­ed with my cur­rent job in law en­force­ment. I’m think­ing of a ca­reer change to ei­ther a high­ly-paid call girl or an as­sas­sin.
Old­er male lunch com­pan­ion: Well, you’re awe­some at sex, and you *do* know how to kill peo­ple…

Ba­ton Rouge, Louisiana

Forc­ing Us to Hire More Temps

Mid­dle-aged man­ag­er: Whoa! You’re new here!
Young fe­male temp (mak­ing copies): Yeah, I just start­ed on Mon­day, I’m a temp.
Mid­dle-aged man­ag­er: Has any­one shown you the dead bod­ies yet?
Young fe­male temp: Uh, no.
Mid­dle-aged man­ag­er: Once the temps re­al­ize what creeps we are, they kill us.

Min­neapo­lis, Min­neso­ta

Over­heard by: a temp