Associate attorney to boss: Hey! You're smiling! You must've killed a client!
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: The Receptionist Hears the Darndest Things
Archive for the ‘Violence’ Category
2PM Credit Meeting
VP: Are we going to continue to flog ourselves with the same blunt instrument?
910 Lousiana Street
Houston, Texas
Anything’s Funny When Done in Lederhosen
Chick: My boyfriend and I love to beat the shit out of each other. But it’s okay, because we are both German.
Austin, Texas
And I’m Not 100% Sure about Kangaroos, Either
Pizza Hut driver: Would you rather fight a kangaroo or wolverine?
Pizza Hut CSR: Well, kangaroos are pretty tough, but wolverines aren’t real.
7th Street and Union Hills
Phoenix, Arizona
And Once You're Fired, You Can't Fire Back
Boss to intern: If I have to shoot you, I'm gonna shoot you.
Manhattan, New York
Knew I Shoulda Told Him It Was His Idea
Boss: Hey whackadoo! [pause] Shut the fuck up.
Rochester, Minnesota
Overheard by: Kirby
5PM That’s a Wrap
Assistant #1: I want to stab my eyes out. Is that normal?
Assistant #2: Yes.
Assistant #1: Just wanted to make sure.
640 5th Avenue
New York, NY
9AM Back to Work
Coworker on phone: Listen, there’s a lot to be said for being punched in the face.
1020 19th Street NW
Washington DC
Overheard by: I just work here
Geoge Washington Did Perm His Hair before Battle
Know-it-all peon: I swear, every invention in this world was invented for war. Highways, the Internet — everything! Don’t you read?
Lady peon: Okay, Eric*! What about perms? Hot rollers weren’t made for war!
Know-it-all peon: Perms aren’t inventions.
Lady peon: My ass, they aren’t!
Waterloo, Iowa
I Already Have Dibs on His Stapler
Peon to boss looking for the bigger boss: He is not there. He is murdering Mike*.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: has a will