Financial analyst: This might be a bad analogy, but it's like this: if there's a guy up on the roof of a house and he's throwing babies off, and you just barely catch the first couple of babies, it might mean that's not a very good strategy and what you really need to do is get someone to go up on the roof and get the guy down.
Coworker: You ever notice how whenever you start a sentence that way, a hush falls over the area?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: MPW
Coworker, examining scratched up phone: Life is rough in my pocket.
Vancouver
Canadia
Cubicle-dweller nearby: I'm really surprised that they gave me these little things with sharp points on them, I'm usually not allowed to have sharp things.
Mission Ridge
Goodlettsville, Tennessee
Eight-year-old boy looking at DVD: Carnival.
Father: Read that again.
Eight-year-old boy: Car… Carb… Cannibal.
Father: Yeah, that means ‘meat eater.’
Eight-year-old boy, after pause: Another word for that is ‘carnivore.’
Father: Oh, I guess that actually means, ‘One who eats their own’. [Longer pause] You know, once at a job site I was working at we had a guy who was arrested and taken away for cannibalism… But that wasn’t in America.
Video Store, 5600 Bigger Road
Kettering, Ohio
Coworker on the phone: Once I stabbed myself in the leg with a knife, and my husband made me a BLT sandwich.
Butler, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Benjamin
Male coworker to another: Do you know anything about making swords?
Florida
Scared CSR: Someone just blew up the bathroom!
Marshall Street
Richmond, Virginia
Grunt on phone: I have claustrophobia and am not suicidal. I am not going to hurt anybody.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: DB
Professor: Whoever taught you to write like this should be flogged with your severed writing arm.
Houston, Texas
Photographer: Well, you don't want to get blood all over your car…
Newspaper
Delaware