Photographer: Well, you don't want to get blood all over your car…
Newspaper
Delaware
Archive for the ‘Violence’ Category
Some Lives May Be Better Unexamined
Canadian arborist: Check it out. I can streamline the camera in the town square back at home in Brandon. I called my dad and told him to drive by and wave. Sometimes, if you watch long enough, you can see someone crash.
Westchester, New York
I Should Write a Haiku About This
Employee: I think I'm too aggressive.
Manager: It's like you have vomit of the mouth. I mean diarrhea of the mouth. Which I guess is like vomit of the butt.
Dallas, Texas
She Should Enter a Neck-Wringing Competition and Win Money for Food
HR supervisor on phone: He called me the other day all worried because she was running out of food. I told him: she has all those animals and she likes to wring their necks…
Fontana, California
Overheard by: Aeirlys
Is That, Like, a Sex Euphemism?
Coworker to another: How was your weekend?
Another: Not good, we lost another pet. The rabbit was murdered by a sheep.
New Zealand
Overheard by: George
You've Always Struck Me As More Of a Swallower
Supervisor to staff member: Leave me alone or I will spit my nastiness on you.
Mclean, Virginia
With My Dreds
Admin: You need a haircut.
Service guy: I need to go club some baby seals.
Irvine, California
Overheard by: i just answer the phone…
…And I Never Looked Back
Employee to another: Oh, now I remember: I bought my first bong and my first Chinese throwing star at that same place.
Point Comfort, Texas
Overheard by: (Not As) White Trash
And They All Sound Like Chris Rock!
Office peon #1: Last night I had a dream about being attacked by a donkey.
Office peon #2: Oh, I know what your mean: zebras are my Freddy Krueger.
Office peon #1: I know, right? Because they don't even sound like regular fucking horses.
Office peon #2: And they're camouflaged like lightning!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Best Nature Documentary EVER!
1PM Lunch
Worker #1: Today was like International Day at McDonalds this morning. Not one person spoke with a Midwest accent…I was gonna be like, “Oh, they are so fucking up my breakfast.”
Worker #2: Did you hear that there are more terrorists in Ohio?
Worker #1: Yeah? First they want to blow up our malls here in the city, now kill the President. They are always in Ohio. You never hear about them in like, Montana. That’s where the Nazis are.
Worker #3: Yeah, the terrorists are up there on the 4th floor…You should go up there.
Worker #2: I’m not going up there.
Worker #1: They do have a nice floor up there.
1 Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio