Coworker to another: How was your weekend?
Another: Not good, we lost another pet. The rabbit was murdered by a sheep.
New Zealand
Overheard by: George
Archive for the ‘Violence’ Category
You've Always Struck Me As More Of a Swallower
Supervisor to staff member: Leave me alone or I will spit my nastiness on you.
Mclean, Virginia
With My Dreds
Admin: You need a haircut.
Service guy: I need to go club some baby seals.
Irvine, California
Overheard by: i just answer the phone…
…And I Never Looked Back
Employee to another: Oh, now I remember: I bought my first bong and my first Chinese throwing star at that same place.
Point Comfort, Texas
Overheard by: (Not As) White Trash
And They All Sound Like Chris Rock!
Office peon #1: Last night I had a dream about being attacked by a donkey.
Office peon #2: Oh, I know what your mean: zebras are my Freddy Krueger.
Office peon #1: I know, right? Because they don't even sound like regular fucking horses.
Office peon #2: And they're camouflaged like lightning!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Best Nature Documentary EVER!
1PM Lunch
Worker #1: Today was like International Day at McDonalds this morning. Not one person spoke with a Midwest accent…I was gonna be like, “Oh, they are so fucking up my breakfast.”
Worker #2: Did you hear that there are more terrorists in Ohio?
Worker #1: Yeah? First they want to blow up our malls here in the city, now kill the President. They are always in Ohio. You never hear about them in like, Montana. That’s where the Nazis are.
Worker #3: Yeah, the terrorists are up there on the 4th floor…You should go up there.
Worker #2: I’m not going up there.
Worker #1: They do have a nice floor up there.
1 Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
3PM Smoke Break
Co-worker: There were so many Jews in the concentration camps. Why didn’t some of them join together and try and fight the Nazis?
195 Turbot Street
Brisbane, Queensland
Australia
NewsFlash: Writer Neurotic and Delusional. Film at 11.
Receptionist, as editor walks in: How did [aspiring author] sound on the phone?
Editor: I dunno, what do you mean?
Receptionist: Well, I sent him information about how to publish his book, and he told me that his family was trying to kill him.
Lawrence, Massachusetts
The Car Deserved to Die
Cube guy: … And what did you say?
Cube girl: I told her he never deserved her in the first place.
Cube guy: That’s for sure.
Cube girl: And frankly, the smartest thing she ever did was put that bullet in his car.
Cube guy: I know!
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Though the Russian Judge Only Gave Her a “6”
Woman in bathroom stall to woman in neighboring stall: Yeah, she the one who did my son's circumcision. She did a bang up job.
Olathe, Kansas