Cube guy: … And what did you say?
Cube girl: I told her he never deserved her in the first place.
Cube guy: That’s for sure.
Cube girl: And frankly, the smartest thing she ever did was put that bullet in his car.
Cube guy: I know!
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Very Republican coworker: I have more guns than I know what to do with.
Golden Valley
Minnesota
Woman on phone: I'm not going to eat before something called “belly-buster night!”
Arlington, Virginia
Coworker: You have a package on your desk.
Stressed-out boss: Is it ticking?
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Associate attorney to boss: Hey! You're smiling! You must've killed a client!
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: The Receptionist Hears the Darndest Things
VP: Are we going to continue to flog ourselves with the same blunt instrument?
910 Lousiana Street
Houston, Texas
Chick: My boyfriend and I love to beat the shit out of each other. But it’s okay, because we are both German.
Austin, Texas
Pizza Hut driver: Would you rather fight a kangaroo or wolverine?
Pizza Hut CSR: Well, kangaroos are pretty tough, but wolverines aren’t real.
7th Street and Union Hills
Phoenix, Arizona
Boss to intern: If I have to shoot you, I'm gonna shoot you.
Manhattan, New York
Boss: Hey whackadoo! [pause] Shut the fuck up.
Rochester, Minnesota
Overheard by: Kirby