Co-worker on phone: “What am I working on?” I’m working on not killing anyone. What’re you working on?
640 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY
Archive for the ‘Violence’ Category
Will You Wear Your Corset and Shiny Black Boots Again?
HR woman on phone with rep at staffing agency: I will drive over there and I will smack you; and then I will fire you in front of your peers.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Anony Mouse
Every Angelina Jolie Movie: Encapsulated.
30-something redhead to older male lunch companion: I'm kind of disgusted with my current job in law enforcement. I'm thinking of a career change to either a highly-paid call girl or an assassin.
Older male lunch companion: Well, you're awesome at sex, and you *do* know how to kill people…
Restaurant
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Forcing Us to Hire More Temps
Middle-aged manager: Whoa! You're new here!
Young female temp (making copies): Yeah, I just started on Monday, I'm a temp.
Middle-aged manager: Has anyone shown you the dead bodies yet?
Young female temp: Uh, no.
Middle-aged manager: Once the temps realize what creeps we are, they kill us.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: a temp
With Human Sacrifice? What Kind of School Did You Go To?
Patent attorney: The US is like the popular kid in high school. Nobody likes ’em, but you have to appease ’em.
1425 K Street, NW
Washington, DC
…But, Seriously, I'm a Witch.
Old Australian man trying to flirt with young female barista: Remember back in the old ages when we could burn women at the stake? That was lovely!
Young female barista: Hahaha!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: jerry
9AM It Begins
Boss: Remember that time I hit you with chicken? Man, that was awesome. I was just glad it didn’t happen your first day, becuase you would have quit or something…I’m still sorry about that, by the way.
Intern: It’s okay. I like getting hit with chicken.
16 W. 19th Street
New York, NY
I Mean, What Kind Of Assistant Brings You a Mochaccino Instead Of a Skim Latte??
Sales rep on phone with customer: And then I spanked him and put him back inside. I was so mad at him!
Keene, New Hampshire
Indiana's Right-to-Life Law Doesn't Extend to Adults
Boss: Carl! It's a good thing you aren't a dog or I'd have put you down by now!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: BFScollegegirl
The Car Deserved to Die
Cube guy: … And what did you say?
Cube girl: I told her he never deserved her in the first place.
Cube guy: That’s for sure.
Cube girl: And frankly, the smartest thing she ever did was put that bullet in his car.
Cube guy: I know!
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York