Office lady #1: I’m going to a sleep-away camp for ten-year-olds this weekend.
Office lady #2: Well, at least there will be alcohol.
1 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: sarcastro
Archive for the ‘Vacation’ Category
Also, I Was Marking My Territory.
Boss: I don't mean to piss on your snow cone, but taking a vacation day the Friday before Labor Day weekend is a no-go!
Portland, Oregon
And I'm Running Out Of Similes
Coworker: Man, I've been using vacation time like a wounded duck.
Titusvile, Florida
Overheard by: Hoss
10AM Finalize Vacations
Co-worker #1: Where’s [Kate]?
Co-worker #2: She’s off all week.
Co-worker #1: I’m off Wed through Fri. What are you off?
Co-worker #3: Her rocker.
7000 Cardinal Place
Dublin, Ohio
Overheard by: Thenodrin
The Jesuits Transfer the Smell to Another Diocese
Tour group mom #1, in stall: Isn't this bathroom gorgeous?
Tour group mom #2, also in stall: Yes! I was just thinking that!
Tour group mom #1: The floor is so pretty!
Tour group mom #2: And it doesn't smell, which is sooo impressive.
Loyola University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Dean's Admin
4PM Call Client (Again!)
Co-worker #1: Are you okay?
Co-worker #2: I’m okay. But if I could slap people through the phone, others wouldn’t be okay.
515 North State Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Peter Gibbons
Work-Related, I Hasten to Add
CEO, during meeting: Okay, that will wrap it up. Does anyone have anything else?
Manager: I just want everyone to know that I won't be around this weekend because my ex-wife told the kids they won't be having any fun this summer because she doesn't have any money. I am going to pick them up and try and let them have fun. So if you need me I won't be around.
(all room is silent)
CEO: Okay, then does anyone have anything else today?
Manhattan, New York
There's Only a Few Sentences That Improve When You Add “…in Thailand,” And This Isn't One of Them.
Coworker #1: Did you have a good vacation?
Coworker #2: Of course! Is there any such thing as a bad vacation?
Coworker #3: Well, my friend fell off a train once… in Thailand.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: jessie
The Government’s Alternative to Medicare
Middle-aged woman #1: I didn’t get any vacation time this year because I was so busy with my mother.
Middle-aged woman #2: How is your mother doing? Does she have anyone to talk to? Like friends or anyone?
Middle-aged woman #1: Well, yes, but the problem is that all the 85-year-old men want is phone sex.
20-something girl: Well, there’s something to look forward to.
Midtown Building
New York City, New York
Exactly the Kind of Dirty Work You Avoid on Vacation
Woman #1: How was your vacation?
Woman #2: Great!
Woman #3: You look great! Did you have fun?
Woman #2: Lots of sex, no kids, and lots of beach time.
Woman #1: You have sex on vacation?
Bergen, New Jersey