Data geek #1: Do they massage the data before they give it the clients?
Data geek #2: Oh, we massage it like it’s Kobe beef.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Archive for the ‘Utah’ Category
…Even If Many Of Them Are Cold Bitches.
Cool office guy: So do you do a lot of skiing?
Typical office worker: Oh, yeah.
Cool office guy: Yeah, you look like the type.
Typical office worker: Huh… Thanks?
Cool office guy: Oh, yeah. It’s cool. I love skiers and snowboarders.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Tim
Can I at Least Steal Office Supplies?
Interviewer: Are you comfortable with the salary for this position?
Interviewee: Well, not really, but since I don’t currently have a job, I guess it’ll have to be okay.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Is That Like Diddy’s White Party?
Engineer #1: What is taking her so long?
Engineer #2: We’re starving in here!
Engineer #1: Ya! Hasn’t she ever heard of the Donner Party?!
Utah
Completely Missed the Point of the Workplace Violence Training
Coworker #1, wielding a letter opener: C’mon, it isn’t that sharp.
Coworker #2: Still, in a fist-fight I’d pick it over bare fists.
Coworker #1, making a stabbing motion: Yeah!
3550 North University Avenue
Provo, Utah
Overheard by: Ambiguous Antecedent
As Though Winnie the Pooh’s “Honey Pot” Weren’t Dirty Enough
Old lady to friend: I don’t know who Madonna thinks she is writing children’s books. She’s still a slut.
Washington, Utah
Overheard by: Nick West
He Spells ‘Foxtrot’ with a ‘Ph’
Employee: Thanks for calling iTransact, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I’d like to cancel my account, please.
Employee: No problem, sir. Can I have your name, please?
Customer: Yes, it’s ‘Frank.’ That’s ‘F’ as in ‘Frank,’ R‑A-N‑K.
Farmington, Utah
I’m Bringing You Warm Water from the Colorado River
Waitress to customer: Can I get you something to drink?
Customer: We’ve never been to Moab before, so we don’t know what we want to drink.
Restaurant
Moab, Utah
But Then I Drew a Whole Family Of Bunnies. So…Better.
PR coordinator: How did that conference call go?
PR director: Well, I doodled a sketch of myself jumping off the top of our parking garage. So… not good.
Ad Agency
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Mandorama
2PM Update EotM Wall
Employee #1: I can’t believe they made that bitch Employee of the Month.
Employee #2: Me, neither.
Employee #1: I’m going to the general manager.
Employee #2: Yeah, I’ll back you up.
Later.
Boss: Who the hell told her that was a good idea to come see me?
Employee #2: I don’t know, I tried to stop her.
999 South Main Street
Salt Lake City, Utah
