Former Mormon chick: I’m not really into religion anymore.
Dude: Oh, yeah?
Former Mormon chick: Yeah. I think I’m a Deist.
Dude: That’s interesting.
Former Mormon chick: I need to research what that means, though.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Archive for the ‘Utah’ Category
In Obedience to the Divine Command?
Manager, hearing loud sounds of construction hammering: They're supposed to do their banging at night!
Lehi, Utah
Overheard by: Still Snickerin'
And We Can Sit around on Our Assets
Male legal assistant: Sean*, all we need is vaginas.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Confused Coworker
Get My Baseball Bat
Coworker, waving arms in the air frantically: Ahhh! The kindergarteners are rioting!
Orem, Utah
Overheard by: Do what?
Can I at Least Steal Office Supplies?
Interviewer: Are you comfortable with the salary for this position?
Interviewee: Well, not really, but since I don’t currently have a job, I guess it’ll have to be okay.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Honesty and Parenting Are Mutually Exclusive
Mom to little kid: I told you not to go in the road.
Dad: Yeah, you get hit by a car, you gon’ be in there with mama on a bed. [Kid stares.] You get hit by a car, you gon’ have to get X-rays. You want X-rays? X-rays hurt.
Doctor’s office, 35th Street and Redwood Road
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: JChan
Just Burns a Little When I Pee
Dispatcher #1: Do you like that Ford truck country singer guy?
Dispatcher #2: Who, Toby Keith? I can't stand that guy, he makes my testosterone boil!
Dispatcher #3: Does that hurt?
Salt Lake City, Utah
…The Amaretto Is for Jesus.
Loopy office lady: Oh, in the winter I only drink decaf, but in the summer, I drink coffee with one shot of Kahlua, one shot of Baileys, and one scoop of vanilla ice cream. Oh, yeah! And one shot of amaretto.
Office Park
Murray, Utah
Overheard by: I'm the sucker with cream only.
…Now Describe Yourself in One Sentence.
Legal secretary: The last thing I need is to get arrested for stealing a dead woman's flowers.
Salt Lake City, Utah
You Know What — I’ll Just Take a Water
Waiter to customer: I’m sorry, but we’re out of swiss. Would you like mozzarella or cheddar?
Customer: Swiss.
Waiter: No, we don’t have swiss. Do you want mozzarella or cheddar?
Customer: You don’t have swiss?
Waiter: Nope, but we do have mozzarella and cheddar.
Customer: That sucks!
Waiter: Yeah, I’m sorry. Would you like either mozzarella or cheddar?
Customer: What other cheeses do you have?
Waiter: Mozzarella and cheddar.
Customer: Don’t you have any other cheeses?
Salt Lake City, Utah