Experienced stock broker: It’s not a butterfly spread, it’s a condor spread. Although, I’m not sure why it’s called that — the eagle is a more common big bird, so it should be an eagle sprea– Oh.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Archive for the ‘Utah’ Category
I Translate His Words Into the Language Of Decent People
Female program manager: You got a sec?
Male program manager: I have lots of secs.
(pause)
Engineer: He means he has a lot of time.
Utah
Overheard by: Snickering Intern
The Mormon Conversion Process Is Extremely Rigorous
Partner #1: So how was it?
Partner #2: Ugh… long, hot, sticky.
Partner #1: Hm. What’d they make you do?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Last Time We Tried That, We Wound Up with Our Heads Glued Together!
Engineer #1: So, Tom*, I’m going to need you to get me up to date on all of these projects before you leave.
Engineer #2: Yes, I think a Vulcan mind meld is the best option.
Hill Field, Utah
Overheard by: Snickering Intern
Then We Give It to the Clients, and It’s a Happy Ending for Everyone
Data geek #1: Do they massage the data before they give it the clients?
Data geek #2: Oh, we massage it like it’s Kobe beef.
Salt Lake City, Utah
…Even If Many Of Them Are Cold Bitches.
Cool office guy: So do you do a lot of skiing?
Typical office worker: Oh, yeah.
Cool office guy: Yeah, you look like the type.
Typical office worker: Huh… Thanks?
Cool office guy: Oh, yeah. It’s cool. I love skiers and snowboarders.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Tim
Can I at Least Steal Office Supplies?
Interviewer: Are you comfortable with the salary for this position?
Interviewee: Well, not really, but since I don’t currently have a job, I guess it’ll have to be okay.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Are You Saying You Don’t Appreciate the Tutu?
Male program manager to another: Well, it’s better than imagining you in spandex!
Coworker in next cubicle: At least it’s not a thong.
Utah
Overheard by: Snickering Intern
Is That Like Diddy’s White Party?
Engineer #1: What is taking her so long?
Engineer #2: We’re starving in here!
Engineer #1: Ya! Hasn’t she ever heard of the Donner Party?!
Utah
Completely Missed the Point of the Workplace Violence Training
Coworker #1, wielding a letter opener: C’mon, it isn’t that sharp.
Coworker #2: Still, in a fist-fight I’d pick it over bare fists.
Coworker #1, making a stabbing motion: Yeah!
3550 North University Avenue
Provo, Utah
Overheard by: Ambiguous Antecedent
