Engineer #1: So, Tom*, I'm going to need you to get me up to date on all of these projects before you leave.
Engineer #2: Yes, I think a Vulcan mind meld is the best option.
Hill Field, Utah
Overheard by: Snickering Intern
Archive for the ‘Utah’ Category
As Though Winnie the Pooh's “Honey Pot” Weren't Dirty Enough
Old lady to friend: I don't know who Madonna thinks she is writing children's books. She's still a slut.
Washington, Utah
Overheard by: Nick West
The Mormon Conversion Process Is Extremely Rigorous
Partner #1: So how was it?
Partner #2: Ugh… long, hot, sticky.
Partner #1: Hm. What'd they make you do?
Salt Lake City, Utah
He Spells ‘Foxtrot’ with a ‘Ph’
Employee: Thanks for calling iTransact, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I’d like to cancel my account, please.
Employee: No problem, sir. Can I have your name, please?
Customer: Yes, it’s ‘Frank.’ That’s ‘F’ as in ‘Frank,’ R-A-N-K.
Farmington, Utah
I'm Bringing You Warm Water from the Colorado River
Waitress to customer: Can I get you something to drink?
Customer: We've never been to Moab before, so we don't know what we want to drink.
Restaurant
Moab, Utah
But Then I Drew a Whole Family Of Bunnies. So…Better.
PR coordinator: How did that conference call go?
PR director: Well, I doodled a sketch of myself jumping off the top of our parking garage. So… not good.
Ad Agency
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Mandorama
2PM Update EotM Wall
Employee #1: I can’t believe they made that bitch Employee of the Month.
Employee #2: Me, neither.
Employee #1: I’m going to the general manager.
Employee #2: Yeah, I’ll back you up.
Later.
Boss: Who the hell told her that was a good idea to come see me?
Employee #2: I don’t know, I tried to stop her.
999 South Main Street
Salt Lake City, Utah
Raise Your Hand If You Think “Yeah” Is Still Unprofessional
Boss, reading through company e-mails: Can I talk to you about this e-mail you sent to a client?
Employee: Sure.
Boss: In this e-mail you started out with the word “yay”; when I read this it struck me as very unprofessional. You shouldn't use the word “yay” when speaking with our clients.
Employee: That doesn't say “yay, it says “yeah”. It's a response to a question the client had.
Boss: Y-e-a-h is “yay.” Let's not use it in e-mails in the future, okay?
Employee: Okay (then under breath as he walks away) Fucking moron!
Salt Lake City, Utah
Sure, She Meets Lots of New People, but She Doesn’t Get Their Names
Development manager: … So then I told my wife that even if we raised our granddaughter she could still end up like her mother. I mean, she doesn’t have tattoos, but she does drugs and she’s a tramp.
IT analyst: Don’t call your daughter a tramp, that’s not nice!
Development manager: Why not? She sleeps with every Tom, Dick and Harry!
IT analyst: At least she has a social life.
1600 South 900 West
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Jealous
Just Do What I Say, and Don’t Ask Questions
Office girl #1: So, when you mail something to Washington, DC, what’s the city and what’s the state?
Office girl #2: Put DC as the state.
Office girl #1: Does that mean Washington is the city?
Utah