Are You Saying You Don’t Appreciate the Tutu?

Male program manager to another: Well, it’s better than imagining you in spandex!
Coworker in next cubicle: At least it’s not a thong.

Utah

Overheard by: Snickering Intern

Get My Baseball Bat

Coworker, waving arms in the air frantically: Ahhh! The kindergarteners are rioting!

Orem, Utah

Overheard by: Do what?

And We Can Sit around on Our Assets

Male legal assistant: Sean*, all we need is vaginas.

Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: Confused Coworker

Then What Are Those in That Bowl on Your Desk?

Client: Is your service free?
Salesman: No. Well, I guess it could be, but we don’t live in the land of lollipops and candy canes.

Provo, Utah

Overheard by: Chris Lumo

Let’s Talk Again After You Have a Donut

Female employee: You’ve never had Krispy Kreme donuts?
Male employee: Nope.
Female employee: Ohh. They are so good!
Male employee: Really?
Female employee: Yeah, they’re better than sex!
Male employee: Hmm. You must be doing it wrong.

Centerville, Utah

I’m Pretty Sure That’s Illegal in Utah

Experienced stock broker: It’s not a butterfly spread, it’s a condor spread. Although, I’m not sure why it’s called that — the eagle is a more common big bird, so it should be an eagle sprea– Oh.

Salt Lake City, Utah

I Translate His Words Into the Language Of Decent People

Female program manager: You got a sec?
Male program manager: I have lots of secs.
(pause)
Engineer: He means he has a lot of time.

Utah

Overheard by: Snickering Intern

The Mormon Conversion Process Is Extremely Rigorous

Partner #1: So how was it?
Partner #2: Ugh… long, hot, sticky.
Partner #1: Hm. What’d they make you do?

Salt Lake City, Utah

Last Time We Tried That, We Wound Up with Our Heads Glued Together!

Engineer #1: So, Tom*, I’m going to need you to get me up to date on all of these projects before you leave.
Engineer #2: Yes, I think a Vulcan mind meld is the best option.

Hill Field, Utah

Overheard by: Snickering Intern

Then We Give It to the Clients, and It’s a Happy Ending for Everyone

Data geek #1: Do they massage the data before they give it the clients?
Data geek #2: Oh, we massage it like it’s Kobe beef.

Salt Lake City, Utah