Archive for the ‘UK’ Category

Who Was That, by the Way?

Suit #1: Good morning, pal!
Suit #2: I'm not your pal…
Suit #1: Well, sure you are, buddy!
Suit #2: Look, my day would be far less painful if you'd stop referring to me using synonyms of “friend.” M'kay?
Suit #1: Sure thing, friend!
(Suit #2 storms out)
Suit #3: That's a new record…fifteen seconds!

Bank
Glasgow
Scotland

10AM Team Meeting

Manager: We will have a meeting later on to make sure everyone is happy.
Employee: But today is [Kelly]’s turn to be happy, not mine…I can pretend to be happy.

8 The Grove
Slough, Berkshire
UK

Why Edith Received a Discharge.

Older female colleague #1: Hey, here's the prizes you won in the raffle the other night.
Older female colleague #2: Oh, thanks. Do you want to keep the bubble bath?
Older female colleague #1, not bothering to lower her voice: Oh. No, thanks. It makes me itch down below.
Older female colleague #2: Oh. (pause) I see.

St. Peter Port
Guernsey

Overheard by: A simple

5PM See You Then!

Assistant: What year is it now?
Manager: 2005
Assistant : Still? Okay! It’s so easy to forget what year it is, isn’t it?
Manager: Not really.
Assistant: So it’s 2006 in–
Manager: January 1st!

Commercial Road
Hull, East Yorkshire
UK

Overheard by: Simon Green

And, You Know, Agony

Male desk drone, stretching: I’d love one of those medieval torture tables, y’know?
Female coworker: Uh, the rack?
Male desk drone: Yeah! I love stretching.

Hertfordshire
UK

Overheard by: Lorzgrins