Archive for the ‘UK’ Category

Stingy and Belligerent, Eh? Why Not Put on Your Kilt While You’re at It

Worker: *Liam was great, I didn’t want any fucking sympathy and he just got on it with it. I hated my fucking father anyway.
Co-worker: Good.
Worker: I mean I only went to his fucking funeral to make sure the cunt was dead… And to spit on his grave. You know? But *Alan got two and a half days for his fucking mother in law.
Co-worker: Yeah?
Worker: Yeah. I mean I hated the bastard but I still get my three days right?
Co-worker: Right.

DWP
Bathgate
Scotland

Who Was That, by the Way?

Suit #1: Good morning, pal!
Suit #2: I’m not your pal…
Suit #1: Well, sure you are, buddy!
Suit #2: Look, my day would be far less painful if you’d stop referring to me using synonyms of “friend.” M’kay?
Suit #1: Sure thing, friend!
(Suit #2 storms out)
Suit #3: That’s a new record…fifteen seconds!

Bank
Glasgow
Scotland