Boss to office: It's like being on Wheel of Fortune without having to buy a vowel.
Chicago, Illinois
Archive for the ‘TV’ Category
…As I Argued in My Doctoral Dissertation
Guy #1: Do you remember GizmoDuck?
Guy #2: Yeah! He was like the Iron Man of the duck world.
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Clair
If Ever There Were a Need for a Longer Pause…
Cube dweller: Hey Liz*, wanna hear something crazy?
Liz*: Sure.
Cube dweller: That stock I bought is up 900% today.
Liz*: Which stock?
Cube dweller: That gay stock I bought! 900%!
Liz*: Gay stock…?
Cube dweller: Yeah–that gay tv network stock. I knew it! Gay tv, yes!
Liz*: Well, good for you…
Cube dweller: Man, my butt is so sore today…
Warren, Michigan
Overheard by: Your what is sore?!
Just to Be Safe, I Better Buy a Backup TV
Coworker: Bon jovi's on American Idol?! Good god, this calls for a new pack of batteries and the tv on in the bedroom!
Portland, Oregon
Once You Try a Giant Mutated Rat Sensei, You Never Go Back
Lady peon #1: Have you been following this e-mail chain? Derek* wrote that he was going to send his ninja friends after her, and Karen* wrote back, ‘Which ones? Leonardo or Donatello?’ Then Derek replied, ‘Splinter.’
Lady peon #2: I love Splinter!
Lady peon #1: Yeah, me too. That’s what I was going to write back to them.
555 West Monroe Street
Chicago, Illinois
Mind the Generation Gap
Boss, in response to employees discussing Project Runway: Oh, what is that? A show about airports?
Washington, DC
It’s Replaced Terrorism As the Leading American Phobia
Woman on phone: I just don’t want you to end up on that show where the news reporter comes into the kitchen and the guys have their pants off…
K Street
Washington, DC
She Appeared to Me in a Vision and Said “Try the Other Hole”
Boss: Jamie Lynn Spears?
Worker: No! Jamie Lynn DiScala. Meadow from The Sopranos.
Boss: Omg, I saw her when I was getting pregnant!
Park Ave
New York City, New York
Career Tip: MTV Provides Profound Insight Into Your Younger Employees
Boss: Is You're all jerks a new reality show?
Employee: No, but The Jersey Shore is.
Baltimore, Maryland
Oddly, Standing Outside Of Their Building Screaming Does Nothing.
Coworker on phone: So, I'm trying to get on MTV, and I keep getting rejected.
San Carlos, California