Archive for the ‘TV’ Category

And Son of Sam Was a Dr. Seuss Character?

Smart girl: Okay, that guy was nice but really kind of creepy.
Girl: Yeah, but he seemed harmless enough.
Smart girl: Sure, but so did Ted Bundy.
Girl: Oh I love that guy!
Smart girl: Wait… what?
Girl: He’s the one on Married with Children, right?

Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: glad my gf is the smart one

They Couldn’t Find Enough Four-Fingered Actors for the Live-Action Version

Coworker #1: How was The Simpsons Movie?
Coworker #2: Pretty good.
Coworker #1: It’s not the cartoon version, is it?
Coworker #2: Uhh… Yeah.

Navy Yard
Washington, DC

What’s Less Cute Than a Man Who Used to Be a Cute Boy?

Aspiring movie critic #1: I don’t think Zac Efron will ever be able to do anything but High School Musical.
Aspiring movie critic #2: I know. He’ll be like…the gym teacher in High School Musical 30.

Richmond, Virginia

I Watch It Through a Hole in My Bible

Nurse to another: Do you watch the show where all the scientists live together? Oh you don’t watch tv at night? That’s show’s ungodly sinful… But I do like Six Feet Under.

University of Kentucky Hospital
Lexington, Kentucky

If Ever There Were a Need for a Longer Pause…

Cube dweller: Hey Liz*, wanna hear something crazy?
Liz*: Sure.
Cube dweller: That stock I bought is up 900% today.
Liz*: Which stock?
Cube dweller: That gay stock I bought! 900%!
Liz*: Gay stock…?
Cube dweller: Yeah–that gay tv network stock. I knew it! Gay tv, yes!
Liz*: Well, good for you…
Cube dweller: Man, my butt is so sore today…

Warren, Michigan

Overheard by: Your what is sore?!

…Or Any False Gods, Really

Employee #1: Did you see Idol last night?
Employee #2: Sorry, I don’t watch Idol.
Employee #1: James got put off!
Employee #2: I don’t watch Idol.

Manhattan, New York

Poland? Absolutely.

Boss to office: It’s like being on Wheel of Fortune without having to buy a vowel.

Chicago, Illinois

…As I Argued in My Doctoral Dissertation

Guy #1: Do you remember GizmoDuck?
Guy #2: Yeah! He was like the Iron Man of the duck world.

Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Clair

Just to Be Safe, I Better Buy a Backup TV

Coworker: Bon jovi’s on American Idol?! Good god, this calls for a new pack of batteries and the tv on in the bedroom!

Portland, Oregon

Once You Try a Giant Mutated Rat Sensei, You Never Go Back

Lady peon #1: Have you been following this e‑mail chain? Derek* wrote that he was going to send his ninja friends after her, and Karen* wrote back, ‘Which ones? Leonardo or Donatello?’ Then Derek replied, ‘Splinter.‘
Lady peon #2: I love Splinter!
Lady peon #1: Yeah, me too. That’s what I was going to write back to them.

555 West Monroe Street
Chicago, Illinois

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