Guy to friend: It was just like Barney… but with Cubans and machetes.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: sarswolu
Archive for the ‘TV’ Category
I Heard You Enjoy the Broadband
Male cube dweller: Seth finally drilled my hole last night.
Female cube dweller: What?
Male cube dweller: Seth finally drilled a hole in my wall, so I can have cable.
Female cube dweller: That sound better.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: greasymittens
I Was Already Nauseated at “Comcast”
Woman employee, opening her Comcast bill: Shit! I forgot to cancel the porn channel again!
Male coworker, disgusted: Ugh! Too much information!
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Aaron
There’s Only One Cure for an Overdose Of Children’s TV
Very sketchy neighbor to two-year-old: Who gives a fuck about Dora?!
Hospital
Maine
Overheard by: Irritated
Does That Mean We Get to Kick You in the Groin?
Peon to fellow cube-mates: What would happen if no one ever reached their target, but they just kept placing it further and further away for the sake of “striving for excellence”? (pause) Sounds like you’re setting up your people for failure. You ever watch Ninja Warrior? That show is the bomb. They have crazy, semi-impossible obstacle courses, and if a contestant passes all four stages, they win. The point is, no one is supposed to win! The obstacles get harder and harder to keep people from succeeding, not to hope and pray that they win… You are all honorary ninja warriors.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Rio
And You’re Sure That’s Where I Should Be Getting Fashion Tips?
Manager: Go home every day and watch Dukes of Hazzard. Problem solved.
Friendly’s Ice Cream
Convent Station, New Jersey
Drop a Bunch Of Condoms on the Floor, and He’ll Immediately Tell You How Many There Are
Secretary: So, what’s her husband like?
Manager: Oh, he’s kind of like Mr Bean…you think he may be slightly autistic but he’s still really sexually attractive.
Secretary: Uhh…
Office
Sydney
Australia
And Son of Sam Was a Dr. Seuss Character?
Smart girl: Okay, that guy was nice but really kind of creepy.
Girl: Yeah, but he seemed harmless enough.
Smart girl: Sure, but so did Ted Bundy.
Girl: Oh I love that guy!
Smart girl: Wait… what?
Girl: He’s the one on Married with Children, right?
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: glad my gf is the smart one
They Couldn’t Find Enough Four-Fingered Actors for the Live-Action Version
Coworker #1: How was The Simpsons Movie?
Coworker #2: Pretty good.
Coworker #1: It’s not the cartoon version, is it?
Coworker #2: Uhh… Yeah.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
What’s Less Cute Than a Man Who Used to Be a Cute Boy?
Aspiring movie critic #1: I don’t think Zac Efron will ever be able to do anything but High School Musical.
Aspiring movie critic #2: I know. He’ll be like…the gym teacher in High School Musical 30.
Richmond, Virginia
