Archive for the ‘Time Management’ Category

Sadly, Brad Never Graduated from the Simulator

Dude: Are you looking at pictures of naked women again?
Man: What kind of stupid question is that?
Dude: Yeah, sorry.
Man: Why don’t you ask me what I’m breathing? ‘Breathing some air there, huh? Boy, you sure do like your air.‘
Dude: Yeah, I know, sorry. Hey — that one’s pretty.
Man: Tell me about it.

Starbucks
New York, New York

Before Bible Study

Manager, training new employee: If they call and are interested in strap-on play and ask for, say, mistress Lola, tell them she’s been roaming the halls with her strap-on, humping the walls.
New employee, with wide eyes: Really?
Established employee, passing by: Only on Sundays.

Grand & Ogden
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Yes, It’s a BDSM Dungeon

Performance Review: Fails to Extrapolate

Employee #1: So did you know that any time you reserve a conference room, you have to also make a separate reservation for the media equipment?
Employee #2: Yeah, you always have to make a separate reservation for the equipment.
Employee #1: So when I reserved the conference room, why didn’t you tell me I needed to make a separate reservation for the equipment?
Employee #2: Well, you asked if they had it. You didn’t say you needed to USE it.

Santa Barbara, California

Where Do You Think I’m Calling You From?

Boss on speaker phone: So I need you to give me those files, like, in five minutes.
Employee: Um.
Boss: I’m serious. I want them in my hand in five minutes.
Employee: You know that I work at home, right?
Boss: So?
Employee: So I live forty-five minutes away from your so-called “office”…Speaking of which, did you ever get that toilet out of the hallway?

3207 Hayloft Court
Frederick, Maryland

Overheard by: Ren