Editor to legal reporter: Did you write the story about whether sex was a major life activity?
Crystal City, Virginia
Archive for the ‘Time Management’ Category
11AM Filing
Boss: All of these folders need to be filed right away, but I can’t trust the desk guys to do it.
Tutor #1: Isn’t that their job?
Boss: Yes, but they need to be filed alphabetically, and they can’t do that.
Tutor #1: They can’t file alphabetically?
Boss: Apparently not. [Tutor #2] spent two hours yesterday trying to put everything back in order.
Tutor #2, breaking into laughter: Is that what you thought I was doing? Shit!
Boss: What were you doing, then?
Tutor #2: I dropped my ring in the drawer, and I had to take out all the folders to find it! It took forever, too.
Boss: Did you at least put them back alphabetically when you were done?
Tutor $2: Are you on crack? That’s the desk guy’s job!
101 Braddock Road
Frostburg, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Plus, the Witch Is Always Trying to Trick Us into the Oven
Employee: First they stuff us with pie, then they expect us to work.
South Rainier
Seattle, Washington
Are We Done Yet?
Boss: Do you have five minutes so I can talk to you for a sec?
Orlando, Florida
11AM Go Over Resumes
Manager: “…I was forced to take a year off work to look after my sick mother. She’s dead now so problem over.”
33 Paradise Road
Richmond, Surrey
UK
Pretty Much His Deal With God, Too
Boss: I’m pretty much unavailable all afternoon since I have to go to the funeral, but if you really need me, you can call me between the church and the cemetary.
Boston, Massachusetts
4PM Work on Report
Office worker: I need to talk to you about this report you mentioned.
Manager: No, we can’t talk about this now, not till tomorrow.
Office worker: Yes, but it’s due tomorr–
Manager: No, no, no! Now is not the time to talk about it. Tomorrow is.
Office worker: But–
Manager: Tomorrow. Goodbye.
39 Murray Street
Hobart, Tasmania
Australia
4PM Pick Up Kids
Cheerleader: It sucks that Halloween is on a Monday this year.
Football player: Dude. I hate when they do that to me.
19501 Outer Drive
Dearborn, Michigan
Why ‘American Government Conspiracy’ Will Always Be an Oxymoron
Intern #1: I will do all of your House bills if you get up and dance right now!
Intern #2: No.
Co-Worker: Why would you pay all of his house bills if he dances? That’s like $100!
Intern #1: House, like House of Representatives!
Co-Worker: We have access to the legislature’s power bills?
Political Office
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jason B.
Here's T.S. Eliot to Explain
Receptionist: What month is April?
Dentist Office
Arlington Heights, Illinois