Archive for the ‘Threats’ Category

10AM Client Meeting

Boss: You know that project we just finished?
Lackey: Yes.
Boss: We need a project plan that details what we did, how we did it, and how long it took.
Lackey: Um, I don’t know that.
Boss: Me neither, but the client will be here in an hour and they want to see a plan.

10000 Linn Station Road
Louisville, Kentucky

Any Excuse to Tell That Story

Nurse: She’s been so much better today. Chatty. She still walks around like this [puts chin to chest], but she came up to me and was like, “How are you today?” I said, “Huh? Oh, I’m fine!” Maybe it’s the Celexa.
Psychiatrist: Actually we’re weaning her off the Celexa. We started her on Effexor.
Nurse: Oh, well, maybe that’s it.
Psychiatrist: She’s only been on it one day. That wouldn’t really be long enough.
Nurse: No, that’s not… Celexa… I think I was taking that when I got into a fight at the airport. You know those guys with the M‑16s? Well, I told this one bitch I was gonna jump over the counter and take her out.
Girl: That was Celexa?
Nurse, smiling: Yeah.

Oregon State Hospital
Salem, Oregon

10AM Review Napoleonic Code

Attorney #1: The governor suggested that everyone not evacuating write their social security number on their arm in indelible ink. I’m going to go through our database and tattoo the SSN of our richest client on my chest with my children as beneficiaries.
Attorney #2: You better get that tattoo on your ass because you’re going to be floating face down in the floodwater.

8555 United Plaza Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana