Guy in next cube: I told her that if she came at me like that again, I’d cut her tits off… Yeah, I seriously told her that…well, I was drinking heavily.
Warren, Michigan
Overheard by: Scared for my tits
Guy in next cube: I told her that if she came at me like that again, I’d cut her tits off… Yeah, I seriously told her that…well, I was drinking heavily.
Warren, Michigan
Overheard by: Scared for my tits
Manager: You have to keep your collar buttoned unless your undershirt is white. I can see that yours is black.
Cashier: That’s not how we did it before.
Manager: That wasn’t this McDonald’s.
1983 86th Street
Brooklyn, New York
Supervisor: Let me tell you. boy, we’re going to play Marine Corps baseball here. You play ball with me or I’ll shove the bat up your ass!
550 South Hope Street
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Oldcorps 50
Female coworker, threatening another female coworker: Well, if I get a fucking yeast infection, you’re going to be the first to hear about it!
6th & Maple
Spokane, Washington
Boss to intern: If I have to shoot you, I’m gonna shoot you.
Manhattan, New York
Grandmother to toddler trying to climb out of shopping cart: If you fall on your head and break your leg, don’t come running to me.
Santee, California
Overheard by: Snickering Cashier
Coworker #1: So I was talking to my friend on the phone, and there was a snake in his room! I would have snapped it in half! I would’ve come after it with a pair of hedge clippers.
Coworker #2: It wouldn’t so much snap as it would snip.
405 Main Street
Milford, Michigan
Overheard by: John M.
Seminar coordinator: Between keeping my shoes on and keeping my britches on, there’ll be no running from me!
14 Fairfield Drive
Brookfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Marissa
Fattie: I swear to Christ, I’m gonna shove that Blackberry up your ass if you bring it to another sales meeting.
1100 Nicollet Mall
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Steven Grafing
Boss: You know that project we just finished?
Lackey: Yes.
Boss: We need a project plan that details what we did, how we did it, and how long it took.
Lackey: Um, I don’t know that.
Boss: Me neither, but the client will be here in an hour and they want to see a plan.
10000 Linn Station Road
Louisville, Kentucky
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist