Cube dweller to another: I have time to beat you, but I don’t have time to stop.
Malden, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Dan
Cube dweller to another: I have time to beat you, but I don’t have time to stop.
Malden, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Dan
Manager to three people working in cubicle: What are you all doing in here?!
Male coworker: There’s a dead mouse in my cube.
Lady coworker: This is Keith*. He’s a temp, but there’s nowhere for him to sit, so they’re all in my cube.
Manager: What are you doing about the mouse?!
Male coworker: Some guy came up and removed the filing cabinets and found the mouse. But he had to call a guy in another union to come and pick up the mouse.
Manager: What the fuck? This is unbelievable.
Lady coworker: It’s like an overcrowded prison in here.
Manager: Oh, I’ll show you prison [leaves].
Keith: Is she mad?
Male coworker: Isn’t this fun?
777 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Supervisor: Girl, you better give me back those files or I’ll take you outside. Like that girl in that movie.
County Courthouse
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lan
Clueless VP, whispering right after lightbulb has exploded: What does it mean?
Park Avenue
New York City, New York
Determined supervisor, about crazy union employee: I’m gonna go get her! I’m not afraid of her anymore.
Kansas City, Missouri
Boss: Hey, maybe we should launch this as an app.
Developer #1 to #2: What is he talking about?
Developer #2: I dunno, that guy’s a fool!
Boss to developer #2: I will step on your throat!
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: David
Guy in next cube: I told her that if she came at me like that again, I’d cut her tits off… Yeah, I seriously told her that…well, I was drinking heavily.
Warren, Michigan
Overheard by: Scared for my tits
Manager: You have to keep your collar buttoned unless your undershirt is white. I can see that yours is black.
Cashier: That’s not how we did it before.
Manager: That wasn’t this McDonald’s.
1983 86th Street
Brooklyn, New York
Supervisor: Let me tell you. boy, we’re going to play Marine Corps baseball here. You play ball with me or I’ll shove the bat up your ass!
550 South Hope Street
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Oldcorps 50
Female coworker, threatening another female coworker: Well, if I get a fucking yeast infection, you’re going to be the first to hear about it!
6th & Maple
Spokane, Washington
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist