Archive for the ‘The Military’ Category

The “Don’t Ask? Do Tell!” Pol­i­cy

Male naval of­fi­cer (over speak­er­phone): Do you need me to come over there?
Male naval of­fice #2 (two cu­bi­cles down): No, sir, I just got it up. Every­thing’s fine.
Male naval of­fi­cer (over speak­er­phone): Well, let me know if you need help and I’ll send some­one over.
Male naval of­fice #2 (two cu­bi­cles down): Roger that, sir.

Pa­cif­ic Fleet Head­quar­ters
Pearl Har­bor, Hawaii

Over­heard by: Just a low­ly con­trac­tor

11AM In­stal­la­tion

Sol­dier #1 is walk­ing around slap­ping peo­ple on the ass with a length of stain­less steel hy­draulic line.

*swat!*

Sol­dier #1: You like that, dontcha bitch? You want some more?
Sol­dier #2: Oh yeah, give it to me pa­pi!

*loud swat*

Sol­dier #2: OW!! [brief pause] Yeah, that was good…
Sol­dier #1: You want an­oth­er one?
Sol­dier #2: Not yet, pa­pi, I got­ta go get the Crisco and rub it on my ass first.
Sol­dier #1: You have 5 min­utes.

Bldg 2411‑B
Fortt Eu­stis, Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: Ja­son Gri­er