Office girl #1: I want to start reading more books.
Office girl #2: Didn’t you just read yesterday?
11940 Jollyville Road
Austin, Texas
Archive for the ‘Texas’ Category
2PM Staff Meeting
VP: That would be an unintended put option…as in put us out of our misery.
910 Lousiana Street
Houston, Texas
I’m Not Quite Following You…
Bank teller: Ma’am, from now on if you want your balance you’ll need to request it.
Customer: How do I request it?
Bank teller: Well, ma’am, you just ask me for it.
Houston, Texas
I Hear in New York They’ll Deliver It 24 Hours a Day
Supervisor: I wonder if we could get her to move back here. What’s keeping her in Austin?
Worker: She has a boyfriend.
Supervisor: Come on! You can get dick anywhere!
Dallas, Texas
I Love Holidays at Grandma’s House!
Office girl during lunch: I just want to move the nuts and eat the goo…
Lubbock, Texas
Why’s That, Consuela?
African-American CSR to team manager: Sir, this customer says that he wants to speak to someone else. He says he doesn’t want to talk with a “nigger.“
Team manager: Ask him how he feels about talking to a gay Asian man.
Round Rock, Texas
Meet the Classiest Boss in Texas
Very pregnant blonde, about husband’s golf game: You’ll never guess what Richard shot.
Obnoxious boss: His load, obviously!
San Antonio, Texas
The Tendrils That Escape My Bikini Are Just Advertising
Female employee #1: I thought the least I could do to get ready for my cruise is getting a pedicure.
Female employee #2: Are you going to a bikini wax too?
Female employee #1: No, getting a pedicure is already almost too girly for me.
Female employee #2: C’mon Andrea*, once you have it done, you will be amazed at how neat and pretty it can be down there.
Female employee #1: No way! I like to be “all natural,” including down there if you know what I mean.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Em-bare-ssed
…They Must’ve Been Following Me Everywhere I Went Today!
Library clerk, exiting elevator: Whooo! It stinks in there! Who just got off of the elevator?
Student worker: (silence)
Fort Worth, Texas
…Whereas I’ve Been Looking For 20 Years.
Office man trying to help lady with machinery: Wait, you need to put it in the hole!
Frustrated lady: What do you mean? I never have had to look for any hole!
Office man: Well, I know that’s true.
Austin, Texas
