Befuddled coworker to supervisor: The good news is I developed a system so that I wouldn’t lose any more SIM cards. The bad news is I lost one.
Independence Parkway
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: Jet Jaguar
Archive for the ‘Texas’ Category
Janeane Garofalo.
Coworker: On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Houston, Texas
9AM Today’s Looking Up
Manager: Will you help him on this issue?
Buyer #1: I’d be happy to help him.
15 minutes pass.
Buyer #2: If you just don’t do your work, they won’t fire you; they’ll
just give it to somebody else.
6808 Lake Worth Boulevard
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: Cube Monkey
Who the Hell Hired You, Anyway?
Operations manager: What are some of your goals?
New hire: I want to have babies!
Operations manager: Ok… Do you have any goals in regards to your future with our company?
New hire: Sure, I want to do my job right, but I was really just born to have babies.
Dallas Parkway
Dallas
Overheard by: Addy
White Whicker? Really?
Hispanic coworker to founder of company: Good afternoon!
Founder of company: Oh, hey! I didn’t see you. You blend in with the furniture.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Tiz
I Was Like, “Shoot!”
Lawyer to client: I have a concealed handgun license. I used to carry my gun with me all the time, but then I found out it’s illegal to carry a weapon and be intoxicated.
Guadalupe Street
Austin, Texas
…In Totally Unrelated News, I Met the CEO Today.
Coworker to another, during lunch: Would you know a maggot if you saw one?
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Glad they didn’t bring anything back for me.
3PM Smoke Break
Coworker: I just can’t do PCP socially anymore. It’s such a mess.
5100 S MoPac
Austin, Texas
2PM Training
Tech: Okay, now right-click there.
Admin: Here?
Tech: No, right-click. Right there.
Admin: Okay…
Tech: No, get rid of that. Right-click. Right there. Right-click. Right-click…Which button are you clicking?
Admin: The left one.
Texas A&M University
College Station, Texas
And Not the Other Way Around
Art director, peeling an orange: I wish homeless people smelled like oranges.
Oak Lawn Avenue
Dallas, Texas
