Crime scene tech, teaching a class: No, semen doesn’t last. The sperm do. It’s really hard to get rid of them, even after a few days. It’s those tough little heads. You could put the clothes in the laundry and still find some. So…sorry ladies.
Las Vegas Street
Colorado Springs, Colorado
X‑ray machine attendant, picking stuffed panda up off belt: This one’s dead… He didn’t make it through the machine.
Airport
Los Angeles, California
IT guy #1: Asian. Asiaaaann.
IT guy #2: Like, 800 years old. A thousand. Thousands of years old.
IT guy #1: Asian. Asian. Asian.
43rd & Madison
New York City, New York
Overheard by: WTF?!
Secretary: I’m getting an iPad.
Office tech: Oh, don’t get one! I need to tell you all about it.
Secretary: I don’t want to hear it.
Office tech: You don’t want to know my opinion?
Secretary: No, you bore me, and you can’t afford one anyway.
Auburn, Indiana
Desktop support tech to cubicle farm of other desktop support techs: I have heard of cases of women raping men, but I do wonder at the logistics of it.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Desktop Support Tech
CSR to IT guy carrying video camera on tripod: Hey, it’s tripod man!
IT guy: What else can I say but thanks!
Insurance Office
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Dadn8tr
Tech: Okay, now right-click there.
Admin: Here?
Tech: No, right-click. Right there.
Admin: Okay…
Tech: No, get rid of that. Right-click. Right there. Right-click. Right-click…Which button are you clicking?
Admin: The left one.
Texas A&M University
College Station, Texas
Tech: Did you speak a lot of German?
Office girl, just back from England: Um, I don’t speak German.
Tech: Oh, so they all speak English over there?
Office girl: No, I just didn’t go to Germany.
Fresno, California
Female coworker: Can you lend me a screwdriver so I can put this hook on the door?
IT dude: Do you know what you’re doing with that?
Female coworker: Are you kidding? I’ve got a degree in screwing!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Steph
Programmer: Oh, thank god! My replacement iPhone. Not having it is like having my arm cut off. (looking at courier, he notices he has a stub instead of his right arm. Embarrassed, he signs for it and tries to hand stylus back to courier’s stub. The courier leaves without saying anything)
Programmer: I want to go home now.
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: Chris
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
