Software Engineer: We had free pizza today to celebrate sexual harassment or something like that. I didn’t really pay attention. I just got the pizza.
30000 Mill Creek Avenue
Alpharetta, Georgia
Archive for the ‘Tech People’ Category
12PM Server Testing
IT: That’s “Venus”, our main file server.
Architect: Why is it called “Venus”?
IT: Becuase it’s a big black bad-ass server.
603 King Street
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: Charles Warren
9AM Back to Work
Boss: Did you have a computer ethics class in college?
Programmer: [Scoffs] There is no ethics, it’s a computer.
10 Salt Creek Lane
Hinsdale, Illinois
Overheard by: Bill Dwyer
4PM Scan PC
Tech: Oh crap, I’ve been infected by Google.
30833 Northwestern Highway
Farmington Hills, Michigan
Um, I'm Not That Kind Of Programmer
IT guy to another, about version 2.0 of the website: Is this the final solution?
Bethesa, Maryland
Overheard by: uncomfortable cube dweller
4PM QA
User: I don’t want a customer to be able to login and they might guess that their password is “welcome.”
Tech: We can change it to, let’s say, “monkey123.”
User: Well, what if they guess “monkey123”?
4 Columbus Circle
New York, NY
IT Guys Are More Likely to Beat You With a Memory Stick
Older IT guy: I live by the rule of thumb: “If the stick's not bigger than your thumb, you can beat 'em with it!” (laughs) Okay, now, go to your sent box…
Sparks, Maryland
Overheard by: Operator
Welcome to The Office
Boss: From now on, people, we’re going to make Perfection our baseline.
The development team laughs.
Developer: Dude, whatever the fuck you’ve been reading, stop it.
1 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Mad William Flint
Like the Difference Between Methodists and Baptists
IT minion, about boss: He started talking to me about Star Trek. I don't know why he thought I'd want to talk about that. I was wearing my Star Wars shirt. I mean, different universe!
Boston, Massachusetts
Though I Could Also Picture David Duchovny Saying It
New partner, opening mail: Oh, it's my gold card. Wonder what's the difference between this and a regular Amex.
Smart-ass IT guy: Well, it creates a gravitational anomaly when you whip it out in high-end restaurants, causing all the girls' panties to hit the floor.
New partner: I could have asked a thousand people that question, only you would have given that answer.
Winnipeg
Canadia