Professor #1: What’s going on out there?
Professor #2: It’s either a gang fight or a game of Red Rover.
College
West Virginia
Overheard by: Professor 3
Archive for the ‘Teachers’ Category
4PM Call Repairman – again
Teacher: Fix the photocopier, it’s not working.
Secretary: What did you do to it?
Teacher: Nothing, it’s just jammed, unjam it.
Secretary: Oh my god, what is that smell…what did you do?
Teacher: Nothing.
Secretary: Did you put transparencies in here? Oh my god, you did! Dude! You can’t do that! They’ll melt! This is a colour photocopier.
Teacher: I wanted colour transparencies.
Secretary: You are so demoted to mimeograph!
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
What’s That on Your Upper Lip?
Professor: Given the above table, who thinks penguin milk has less fat than seal milk?
Half the class raises their hands.
Professor: How many think penguin milk has more fat than seal milk?
Other half raises their hands.
Professor to TA: This is a bad sign.
UC Davis
Davis, California
Overheard by: someone easily tricked at 8am sans coffee
…Followed by Cake
Physical therapist: Where did you get the cake?
Teacher: BJ’s.
Physical therapist: Oh! I love BJ’s!
Manhattan, New York
…And Said, “I Think I Lava You”
Professor: For example, say I give this woman a hundred-dollar bill… No, that’s not a good example. Say I give her a mug of hot lava…
Stevens Tech
Hoboken, New Jersey
No, But Seriously, You’ve Gotta Clean Up That Blood
Teacher #1, to teacher #2: I like my vagina the way it is, I wouldn’t change a thing about it.
Aberfoyle Park High School, Taylors Road East
Aberfoyle Park, South Australia
Overheard by: Megan
Sorry, Feminist Theory Is Down the Hall
Professor: So, you see how within Foucault’s understanding power always returns, because it is in the very organization of our thoughts?
Student in back row: Those sons of bitches!
2001 Main Street
Buffalo, New York
…Is What I’m Always Thinking During Sex.
Instructor: Nine times out of ten, if you shoot at something you’re either going to hit it or miss it.
Camp Shelby, Mississippi
No, No, Wait — a Parking Meter!
Biology teacher: So, in conclusion, diffusion is ions separating from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration.
15-year-old blonde: So it’s like an orange, right?
High school
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Overheard by: jess
My Secretary’s All, “That Isn’t My Job, Sir!”
College director in office: I know, it’s so sad. Now when I wake up there’s nobody licking my face.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Haffy
