Suit #1: I’m going to need that project done for Monday. Can you get on that right now?
Suit #2: It’s Friday, and I have beer to drink. It’s really going to have to wait.
4881 Yonge Street
Toronto, Ontario
Archive for the ‘Suits’ Category
3PM Cigarette Break
Admin: Hey, Simon Wiesenthal died! Who’s he?
Suit: Oh, he hunted Nazis or something. Cool!
Admin: Cool that he died?
Suit: Cool that he’s in my dead pool!
1600 Broadway
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: C. O’ntracter
It’s More Nice When You Take ‘Em Off
Businessman: You know, it’s so nice when you have nice pants. You want to go out of your way to do things.
512 7th Avenue
New York, NY
Don’t People Usually Get Whiter Staying at the Seattle Ritz?
Suit #1: So, I heard they put you up at the Ritz in Seattle!
Suit #2: They did! I stayed there over the weekend. It was so nice…
Suit #1: Gangsta, son, gangsta.
Suit #2: That’s how I roll, homie.
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Amused
The English Don’t Think So
Suit #1: He’s from England, from some place called Portsmouth. I think it’s spelled P‑O-R-T-S-M-I-T‑H, but it’s pronounced like Ports Mouth.
Suit #2: Wait. Is it Ports Mouth, or Ports Smith?
Suit #1: I don’t know. It’s some place in Europe, I think.
Hotel
Kowloon, Hong Kong
China
Overheard by: Embarrassed American
11AM Budget Meeting
Boss: I am not going to repeat myself… I said I am not going to repeat myself.
Suit: You just lost all credibility.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
For Bernard, the Processes of Digestion and Elimination Had Become Suboptimal
Greasy suit as his chili is served: … And that’s exactly why I go in to get colonics.
Skyline Chili
Cincinnati, Ohio
I’m Just Sayin’ — You’ve Got Balls, Lady
Professional woman: I work out at lunch everyday, it’s part of my routine.
Professional man: Wow, you really have some testical fortitude to stick to that routine.
Woman: What?
One Shell Plaza Elevator
Houston, Texas
1PM Refueling
Power broker #1: Two large cappuccinos.
Cashier: Thank you. That will be $4.50.
Power broker #1: Where’s the cinnamon?
Cashier: I’m sorry, we’re out of cinnamon.
Power broker #1: Then I don’t want it!
Cashier: Excuse me?
Power broker #2: Okay, let’s just bring it back to the office.
Power broker #1: No! Just give me my money back. I can’t drink the foamy milk without the cinnamon.
100 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Mark
The Horror. The Horror!
Corporate suit: They were wearing, like, you know, trashy Old Navy golf shirts.
Plainsboro, New Jersey
Overheard by: Wow.
