Student: This question doesn’t make sense.
Professor: What do you expect? I’m not Goldilocks.
Every single student: What?
Professor: What? You’re Goldilocks! You all are Goldilocks.
University of Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: All Three Bears
Archive for the ‘Students’ Category
Let’s Eat Our Ramen Dinners Together Tonight
Recent male college grad: So I just quit my job…
Recent female college grad: Oh my god, that’s awesome!
Recent male college grad: I love our age group- everyone’s excited and envious of me ‑and not appalled…
San Francisco, Califronia
Overheard by: Still Employed… Unfortunately
…Instead Of Deer Hunting?
Grad student: Let’s get that second kit, there’s more solution and tubes.
Advisor: Great, we’ll get more buck for our dollar.
Grad student: Um, what?
Advisor: More buck for your dollar.
Grad student: Do you mean “more bang for our buck”?
Advisor: Well, I thought that’s what it was, but that sounds dirty. Like prostitutes or something, so I said the other thing.
Grad student: Why does your mind always go straight to prostitutes?
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
As in Blue-Footed, You Pervs
Kid #1: Number five is A, as in ‘asshole.‘
Teacher: No, number five is B, as in…
Kid #2: Bastard!
Teacher: No, B as in ‘booby.’
High school
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: oh my
What About Stupid People?
Training teacher: So, what are some things that you guys think are covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act?
Male teen student: Obesity?
Training teacher, with blank stare: Um, I don’t think so. Anyone else?
Female teen student: How about being an old person?
Training teacher: Oooooooh boy. How about we just take a look at this slide up here…
Duane Reade Career Center
Manhattan, New York
They Told Me It Only Happens after Sex with Boys
Girl #1: I’m not pregnant.
Girl #2: Oh, good! I found out this weekend that I’m not pregnant, either.
Boarding high school dorm
Beverly, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Teacher in the hallway… like they were trying to go through this together?
An Unexamined Life Not Being Worth Living
Student: You look very excited.
Professor: Yeah, ’cause I just peed!
Rolfe Hall, UCLA
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Josh M.
Finally Something Will Be Sucking Besides Your Grades
Teacher to students, in creepy deep voice: Want a lollipop? I have many flavors!
Sydney
Australia
I Think She’s Good for at Least Two or Three Short Marriages
College girl #1: I was talking with my dad about it over break, and he said I really shouldn’t worry about it because 90 percent of women get married. But if you think about it, that really isn’t a lot. I mean, what if I’m part of that 10 percent?
College girl #2: Well, that probably includes lesbians, though.
College girl #1: Yeah! That’s right! And disabled people!
Whitehead Road
Charlottesville, Virginia
Overheard by: Did she really say that?
Psst– That’s a “No”
40-something guy: So are you working now?
Recent college grad, buying beer: What do you mean?
Mamaroneck, New York
Overheard by: An employee who knows what ‘work’ means b/c of these people
