Employee to group of new hires waiting for orientation: Oh, good, it’s almost time for them to pretend like they care about you!
Woodruff Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Fast, Fun, and Friendly
Archive for the ‘South Carolina’ Category
Now Zip Up Your Pants, Sir.
Reservations manager: You look very small today!
GSR: Umm…thanks?
Charleston, South Carlolina
…As My “I Might As Well Be Pooping” Bumper Sticker Clearly States.
Sales rep #1: I wish we had cordless phones.
Sales rep #2: Why?
Sales rep #1: Well, if I’m going to be on hold, I might as well be pooping or something.
Fort Mill, South Carolina
When I Do Pushups, It Sounds Like I’m Serving Pudding
Grad student: I have to scoop my boobs out of my armpit when I lay down.
Charleston, South Carolina
Danny Here Takes Care of Exasturbating the Boss
Ditzy intern: I know you’re busy so I’m not going to exasturbate things…
Suit: Oh, not at all… In fact, better that you exasturbate me than the boss.
1901 Main Street
Columbia, South Carolina
…“Which of the Sales Guys Are You Going to Have Intercourse With?”
Benefits & payroll lady: So which of the sales guys are you going to do?
Admin: (awkward silence)
Benefits & payroll lady: Ummm…let me rephrase that…
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: uh i hope none of them
Gives a New Meaning to ‘Dirty Cop’
Cop: Oh my god! This peanut butter pie is so good, I just want to rub it all over my ass and dance around the lobby!
Tanner Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Xtina
No, He’s Reading Too Loud
Children’s librarian: Do you mind?
Chick with breast exposed, nursing her baby: I’m sorry, is he sucking too loud?
York County Library
Rock Hill, South Carolina
She’ll Also Say This When She Gets a Pink Slip
Legal secretary: And then the phone calls started to peter out.
Paralegal: What? Peter? As in “dick”?
Legal secretary: No! “Peter out” means “to come slowly to an end.“
Paralegal: Oh. (pauses) Still sounds a lot like a dick.
Greenwood, South Carolina
Overheard by: Wondering if everything has to be naughty
The Real Battle Is between Flesh and Synthetic Fibers
Coworker #1: So how did your tennis match go last night?
Brad*: Um, I’d rather not talk about it.
Coworker #2: Nobody wins when Brad wears tennis shorts.
Piedmont, South Carolina
Overheard by: Ape
