Employee to group of new hires waiting for orientation: Oh, good, it’s almost time for them to pretend like they care about you!
Woodruff Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Fast, Fun, and Friendly
Employee to group of new hires waiting for orientation: Oh, good, it’s almost time for them to pretend like they care about you!
Woodruff Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Fast, Fun, and Friendly
Reservations manager: You look very small today!
GSR: Umm…thanks?
Charleston, South Carlolina
Sales rep #1: I wish we had cordless phones.
Sales rep #2: Why?
Sales rep #1: Well, if I’m going to be on hold, I might as well be pooping or something.
Fort Mill, South Carolina
Grad student: I have to scoop my boobs out of my armpit when I lay down.
Charleston, South Carolina
Ditzy intern: I know you’re busy so I’m not going to exasturbate things…
Suit: Oh, not at all… In fact, better that you exasturbate me than the boss.
1901 Main Street
Columbia, South Carolina
Benefits & payroll lady: So which of the sales guys are you going to do?
Admin: (awkward silence)
Benefits & payroll lady: Ummm…let me rephrase that…
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: uh i hope none of them
Cop: Oh my god! This peanut butter pie is so good, I just want to rub it all over my ass and dance around the lobby!
Tanner Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Xtina
Children’s librarian: Do you mind?
Chick with breast exposed, nursing her baby: I’m sorry, is he sucking too loud?
York County Library
Rock Hill, South Carolina
Legal secretary: And then the phone calls started to peter out.
Paralegal: What? Peter? As in “dick”?
Legal secretary: No! “Peter out” means “to come slowly to an end.“
Paralegal: Oh. (pauses) Still sounds a lot like a dick.
Greenwood, South Carolina
Overheard by: Wondering if everything has to be naughty
Coworker #1: So how did your tennis match go last night?
Brad*: Um, I’d rather not talk about it.
Coworker #2: Nobody wins when Brad wears tennis shorts.
Piedmont, South Carolina
Overheard by: Ape
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist