Cop: Oh my god! This peanut butter pie is so good, I just want to rub it all over my ass and dance around the lobby!
Tanner Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Xtina
Cop: Oh my god! This peanut butter pie is so good, I just want to rub it all over my ass and dance around the lobby!
Tanner Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Xtina
Children’s librarian: Do you mind?
Chick with breast exposed, nursing her baby: I’m sorry, is he sucking too loud?
York County Library
Rock Hill, South Carolina
Legal secretary: And then the phone calls started to peter out.
Paralegal: What? Peter? As in “dick”?
Legal secretary: No! “Peter out” means “to come slowly to an end.“
Paralegal: Oh. (pauses) Still sounds a lot like a dick.
Greenwood, South Carolina
Overheard by: Wondering if everything has to be naughty
Coworker #1: So how did your tennis match go last night?
Brad*: Um, I’d rather not talk about it.
Coworker #2: Nobody wins when Brad wears tennis shorts.
Piedmont, South Carolina
Overheard by: Ape
Female cube dweller: We’re moving next week, but it’s taking forever to get everything packed. Michael is such an anal packer.
Charleston, South Carolina
Boss: These cookies are good. Tastes like there’s Ex-lax in ’em.
Charleston, South Carolina
CSR #1 to CSR #2: You know, you should really try getting to work on time. You don’t want them to fire you.
CSR #2: They can’t fire me! I put my notice in the day I started!
Greenville, South Carolina
Older man checking in at resort: Do I sign where it says “signature”?
Hilton Head Island, South Carolina
Office manager, on the phone: Which one of Mommy’s boyfriends beat you badly enough as a child to turn you into the bitter, empty, hollow shell of a human being you are today?
Supervisor, to trainee: See? That’s why we have to answer the phone quickly in this office: to keep the managers from picking up the phone. Ever.
221 Corporate Gateway Boulevard
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: Geobaldi
Librarian: Jeans, brain and behavior?
Student: Uh, genes with a G.
Librarian: Like this? Gene’s brain and behavior?
Student: There’s no apostrophe.
Librarian: I’m not getting any results.
Student: Well, I’m pretty sure it’s officially spelled with an ampersand.
Librarian: A what?
Addlestone Library
Charleston, South Carolina
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist