Archive for the ‘Smoking’ Category

Calms My Worries About My Health

Saleswoman: I’ve had this cough for weeks. It’s in my back now. I’ll cough so bad sometimes that I’ll almost pee myself or I’ll throw up. I’ve tried every over-the-counter medicine they make. Tylenol, Theraflu, I’ve tried them all. I just can’t get rid of it.
Coworker: Cigarette?
Saleswoman: Yeah, I could really use one.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: non-smoker

Why Do You Keep Winking at Me?

Professor #1: I’m going to go home and collapse. I’ll be back online later this afternoon.
Professor #2: How was the conference?
Professor #1: Oh, it was great. It was in Canada, so all the faculty were about smoking pot and nude beaches.
Professor #2: We have a beach! We have faculty!

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: blackmail

I Think Of It As Swirl Art

Coworker who quit smoking four days ago: You know what? I’m to that point now, where I’m starting to cough shit up. I mean, I know it’s nasty, but you look in the sink and you say to yourself, “cool…that’s not in me anymore!”

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Ashley