Archive for the ‘Smoking’ Category

Mean­while, Rome Burned.

New girl: I’m go­ing down­stairs for a smoke be­fore we start check­ing over. Do you want to come?
Su­per­vi­sor: No thanks, I just think I’ll sit here and fiddle…not with my­self!
New girl: What­ev­er you want to do in your own time.
Su­per­vi­sor: Hur-hur, yeah, I just sit here and fid­dle with my­self to un­wind. (lat­er, re­al­is­ing new girl has left) Fid­dle.

Chiswick Park

Over­heard by: chok­ing on a coke

Nah, Prob­a­bly Just My Wife

Cowork­er #1: I can’t be­lieve you would give some­one a nick­name like that!
Cowork­er #2: I thought you knew what a “pole smok­er” was.
Cowork­er #1: No, I did­n’t. And my mom did­n’t think it was fun­ny when my wife ex­plained it to the fam­i­ly at East­er, ei­ther!
Cowork­er #2: So does that mean you’re go­ing to change your screen name?

Evans­ville, In­di­ana

I’ll Do My Best to Live Up to That. Now

Boss: You’re out smok­ing again? I thought you were quit­ting?
As­sis­tant: I start tak­ing the Chan­tix to­mor­row morn­ing, smoke for a week and throw the cig­a­rettes away and dou­ble the dose.
Boss: Okay, can I give you shit for it?
As­sis­tant: All you want, I’ll be a com­plete bitch and make your life hell.
Boss on in­ter­com: Every­one, you have the next 2 months off: as­sis­tant is go­ing to be a big­ger bitch than usu­al.

Foun­tain Val­ley, Cal­i­for­nia

Wel­come to the Club

Front of­fice girl at med­ical spa, hang­ing up phone: The client says we are not tak­ing her con­cerns se­ri­ous­ly, and she is go­ing to re­port us to the Sur­geon Gen­er­al.
Ditzy man­ag­er: The Sur­geon Gen­er­al? But we don’t have any­thing to do with smok­ing!
Front of­fice girl, un­der her breath: I can’t be­lieve I have to re­port to you.

Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: OMG The IQ lev­el here is amaz­ing