Archive for the ‘Smart Employees’ Category

They’re Trad­ing Asian Men

Asian cowork­er: What are you do­ing?
Cau­casian cowork­er: As­sem­bling the trade booth so we all know how to do it.
Asian cowork­er: Trade booth?
Cau­casian cowork­er: For con­ven­tions, we set this up so peo­ple know who we are.
Asian cowork­er: What are you trad­ing? Can I trade?
Cau­casian cowork­er: Nev­er­mind! Go back to your desk!

Rochelle Park, New Jer­sey

11AM EOY Staff Meet­ing

Man­ag­er: We’re all sharks. Re­mem­ber, guys.
Em­ploy­ee: Huh? Sharks?
Man­ag­er: Yeah, we’re all like sharks. Sharks have to keep mov­ing their whole life or they’ll die. They nev­er stop mov­ing. So keep mov­ing, guys! We’re sharks!
Em­ploy­ee: So ba­si­cal­ly what you’re say­ing is that if we stop mov­ing, you’ll kill us all?

208 Chain Lake Dri­ve
Hal­i­fax, No­va Sco­tia

2PM Med­i­ta­tion Con­fer­ence

Para­le­gal #1: It’s fun­ny when I en­ter a la­bel for what type of event the at­tor­ney is do­ing, one of them says “Med­i­ta­tion”. Who would med­i­tate in the con­fer­ence room?
Para­le­gal #2: Are you sure it does­n’t say “Me­di­a­tion”?
Para­le­gal #1: Oh yeah, I guess that would make more sense in a law firm, huh?

7700 Old George­town Road
Bethes­da, Mary­land

The Cus­tomer Is Al­ways Right­eous

Cashier: Al­right, so that’s go­ing to be $47.68.
Cus­tomer: What? The book was $31.99!
Cashier: Um­mm, ac­tu­al­ly, it was $44.99…
Cus­tomer: It says $31.99!
Cashier: I’m afraid you were look­ing at the Amer­i­can price, ma’am…
Cus­tomer: So?!
Cashier: We’re in Cana­da.
Cus­tomer, in­dig­nant: Well, I want to speak to a man­ag­er!
Cashier: Un­for­tu­nate­ly, I don’t think he’ll be able to change glob­al econ­o­my, but let me page him…