Archive for the ‘Smart customers’ Category

Don’t Piss Off Je­sus. Just Don’t Do It.

Cus­tomer: Well, maybe I could find some­thing at a low­er price that needs fixed up. I do a lot of re­mod­el­ing work.
Re­al-es­tate agent: Sir, if you’re a car­pen­ter you won’t be able to af­ford any­thing in this area.
Cus­tomer: I’m a con­trac­tor and I have more mon­ey than I know what to do with. If I say I’m go­ing to climb in­to your ass and ren­o­vate, that’s what I’m go­ing to do.

109 Lafayette Street
New York, NY

Over­heard by: Dirt­patch

We Imag­ine the Pim­ply Clerk from The Simp­sons in This Role

Cus­tomer: I would like four choco­late chip, four raisin, and four cin­na­mon crunch bagels to go, please.
Em­ploy­ee: [Turns to look at bagel rack, turns back to cus­tomer.] I’m sor­ry ma’am, I can’t sell you those.
Cus­tomer: But you have four of each sit­ting right there.
Em­ploy­ee: [Looks back at bagel rack.] But those are the last of our spe­cial bagels, and they are re­served for our in-store cus­tomers.
Cus­tomer: But I’m in your store, and I want to buy your bagels.
Em­ploy­ee: But my man­ag­er said I can’t sell those to go.
Cus­tomer: So let me get this straight. You’re sell­ing bagels, I want to buy bagels, but you won’t sell me your bagels?
Em­ploy­ee: Well, yes… but it’s my man­ag­er…
Cus­tomer: How bout I speak to your man­ag­er?
Em­ploy­ee: [Gets on phone, whis­pers to man­ag­er, comes back to counter.] Okay, I’ll sell you the bagels.
Cus­tomer, un­der breath: Holy shit.

Pan­era Bread
San­ta Mon­i­ca, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: kim

Just Take It! What’s He Go­ing to Do, Tell You You’re Shoplift­ing?

Cus­tomer: I’m look­ing for one of those things where I can plug it in­to my TV’s video and plug like four video game sys­tems in­to it and push a but­ton to switch be­tween them.
Em­ploy­ee: Yeah, I don’t think we sell those.
Cus­tomer, pick­ing up item: I’m look­ing for this.
Em­ploy­ee: Oh, we don’t sell those.
Cus­tomer: You… don’t… sell these?
Em­ploy­ee: No.
Cus­tomer: You’re sure?
Em­ploy­ee: Yeah, we def­i­nite­ly don’t sell those.
Cus­tomer: You don’t sell these? This thing that I picked up off your rack with a price tag on it?
Em­ploy­ee: No. Cir­cuit City might car­ry them, though.

Best Buy
As­to­ria, New York